Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Not Easily Broken
Sometimes when I am furious and frustrated, I cry. I am sitting at my desk right now, having just put down the phone, and tears like they're flowing from a damned open spigot are washing down my face. I'm not sobbing. I'm just infuriated and feeling royally screwed over by a certain enterprise and I'm trying to get a handle on myself because I have to be the calm, strong center for someone who is anxious right now and looking to me for solutions. I have to convey to this much-loved almost-grown person that everything will be alright. And it will, I know we will figure it out. But oh how life changes moment to moment and all you can ever really do is your best, even when your best falls short of what is truly needed. Today is not a good day. Today I feel fragile and breakable, twisted by my own fears. But I have to project assurance and the promise of everything working itself out in ridiculously short order. Fuck.