Monday, April 25, 2011

Becoming

Our son's ankle is apparently all healed and once again supporting him in flight. The photograph below is from last weekend, taken at a meet in which our boy qualified for States in 110 meter hurdles, high jump and decathlon. But after much soul searching, and trying to quiet the part of himself that never wants to be a quitter, he's decided not to compete in decathlon because it will mean missing the last two classes before finals of a course for which he is intent on achieving a certain grade. He would also have to miss a lab that he cannot make up. So he will compete only in hurdles and high jump, which he's used to because he's been doing those events since high school. It was hard for him to come to this decision, but he knows that not only would he miss two crucial classes, he would also be exhausted after doing twelve events the weekend before finals, and he can't afford to sacrifice his longer term life goal for one track meet. He says his coach was disappointed but that he understood. He said, "I get it. Academics is the priority."


I just listened as he processed all this on the phone with me last Thursday. It was gratifying because I got to hear his thought process and to hear how balanced he was in weighing this decision, how much he knows himself and his tendency to take on too much, and how, for the first time, he has had to come to terms with the fact that he isn't superhuman, he can't do everything at the same time, he to make choices. My heart was eased too because he sounds calmer and more balanced than even a year ago. My God, he's growing into a thoughtful, measured young man. His energy, so full of spikes and sudden dips and curves throughout his adolescence, seems to be settling at last. He is beginning to own his choices, his actions, his future. He is becoming himself beautifully.


8 comments:

  1. Angella, he sounds like an amazing young man. I'd like to think and hope that my John turns out as well balanced.
    Great Photo!
    Your Friend, m.

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  2. Oh man, this is just the best. Rest your heart, Mama. You've done a great job.

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  3. Elizabeth, he's growing up! Who knew? Hugs to you.

    Mark, your John is surrounded by love and humor. I know he's already there.

    Ms. Moon, the job is never done, is it. The road is always twisty. But there are such good signs along it. Thank you, dear friend.

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  4. oh, how you must just be full of love all over again.
    Isn't being a mother beyond description?
    I share in this with you a bit, Angella, my S that goes to McGill has grown a million times over this past year.
    She just went through some exam and soccer drama , and then managed to get a ride home for the Easter weekend to surprise us and have some family debrief and recover time.
    I was thrilled to pieces to see her at the door, but , in all honesty , a little worried about all the emotion. It was actually shocking to see how mature and sensible and loving and organized etc she is. We chatted like women , she did some spontaneous generous things with her younger sister, and she came to some conclusions re her school and went back happy and at peace.
    Who knew indeed. :)

    love to you.

    deb

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  5. deb, beyond all description. it is so true. i know the relief you must have felt to see your daughter coming into her own like that, the love and gratitude and prayers of thanks. if only we could trust what we have tried to give them. my mother calls it faith. love to you, friend.

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  6. How gratifying, how reassuring to see one's child grow into their wisdom. In the midst of world confusion, the clarity of one young man is filled with meaning. And hope. xo

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  7. Marylinn, his clarity in this instance does indeed fill me with hope! I am always so happy to see you here.

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