I opened my eyes this morning and realized that for the first time in four straight days I was free of pain. No throbbing jaw, migraine head, all over aching weakness. The sun poured in through the bedroom window and it seemed more golden than before, tangible enough to take hold of, and I swung out of bed feeling myself again, free of the dark thoughts I never whisper aloud of what might be happening inside my body. Today, I am good again.
Now, I have to get to the office, after being home for the past two days. Yesterday, the writer for the current issue's cover story was on the phone with me, with just a single day to churn out her piece, and she was overwhelmed, she was in tears, her voice shuddering, and I was flat on my bed, my jaw throbbing, trying to talk her through it, trying to help her find the arc of the story, so she could throw off all the pent up unfairness of it all, and start to write. She filed the story at 2 a.m. this morning, and I have been up since 7 a.m. doing my edit, since the piece is due to ship. The layout isn't even done yet. It's crazy the schedule we're keeping. It's no wonder we get sick. It's no wonder we cry.
But today, I feel healthy and strong. I feel like singing in a shower of sunshine. I proclaim this day newly glorious. As for the title of this post, I don't know why I wrote that and I don't know why I didn't change it given that Denzel's role in the movie Glory has only a glancing connection to this post, something to do with feeling the glory of this day combined with the way we're all being driven at work right now. Something to do with my internal Oh hell no! which I might add is a sign of a right perspective on things. It's not that deep, though. Not at this moment. I feel quite light, in fact. Let's go ship some stories.