Monday, July 16, 2012

Dream


You can tell I'm dreaming of escaping to somewhere boldly colored and hidden away. It has to be dramatic, almost too much to take in, to infuse my senses with everything that I am imagine I am missing during the endless hours in this glass and steel skyscraper with perfectly beige walls where I spend my days. I'm not complaining really. It's a living. I just need a spell in a magical place. Somewhere with a splendidly painted door and jewel toned chandeliers and a courtyard garden with bright cushions and scented candles under a poetic canopy of trees.




Trusting desire, starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging a shoulder a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins

—From "I Should Tell You," Rent


I remember now I dreamed of fire the other night. My childhood home was burning, and some of the rooms looked like my childhood school had folded itself into my home, and I was frantic to wake my husband and get him outside where it was safe, and my children, who I somehow knew were already outside, safe from the flames. None of us burned, but the roof of the house was engulfed in tall orange tongues as we stood there watching, the four of us watching at dusk, I seemed to be looking down on us from above the flames, and more people were running to us, and then I woke up. I asked my husband what it might mean. He said, It means you were asleep. I spent the morning looking up the dream interpretation of burning houses, and everything said that if you don't get burned, then it means you are in the midst of a major transformation and that might well be.

22 comments:

  1. That might well be...I would love to join you on your colorful escape, sweet one.

    When the children were little, it seemed as if mothers all supported one another in the many daily challenges of being a parent and we were bonded through our children. Why can't it be that way as we stand on the precipice of this part of the journey? Seems to me that this is actually much more daunting in too many ways.

    Hugs and so much love,
    Debra

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    1. Debra, this part of the journey is more daunting that I ever realized it would be, and most of the challenge is invisible, happening internally. I do think it helps to stay connected to others going through the same thing. at the very least, it reminds us that this is what it is, and we have to feel it to get through it, there is no other way, given the love.

      Love and hugs dear friend.

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  2. "It means you were asleep."...LOL..I'm dying...LOL.

    That is some kind of man you married there....LOL.

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    1. dear bruce, isn't he a card, though? LOL

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  3. I'm just staring at that door!

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  4. Well then, this could be exciting!
    m.

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  5. That's a man for you. My husband would have said the same thing. He always used to say, "You think too much," but now he knows that is just how I am.

    I, too, would love to travel away with you to some place that colorful, that disregarding of the beigeness that for some reason, our world seems to think is proper and right. I have always said, "Life is too short for beige."

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    1. Ms Moon, how very true. I have never understood why people make office space so muted. It dulls creativity, i think.

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  6. brilliant imagery here Angella, and the pictures are awesome too. The dream! It's so spot on for you and your present circumstances don't you think? the house burning and you and hubby and babies all well and safe, watching from a distance as you all move away from the life you once had into another.... your brain is a marvelous thing.
    I think you should go to the islands, or come here, I've got a hammock and the colors in my yard will make your eyeballs roll around in your head.
    love,
    yo

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    1. yo, oh dear, i have seen glimpses of your backyard and it is indeed a haven! your energy is all through it in a beautiful way. thank you for this insightful comment. love to you.

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  7. Oh, my husband would have said that and added that maybe it means I'm crazy. He never remembers dreams, and I dream strange things every night.

    I have dreams all the time where there is danger and I'm trying to save everyone. Fire, bad men, bears, alligators, aliens - you name it, it's tried to get me and mine in my sleep, while I run around trying to rescue us all. I think the recurring theme is fear. I'm always afraid of losing what I've got, and don't know how to just appreciate it while it's here. And by the way, one of my alien dreams had a happy ending with unicorns and pretty lights, and another was a musical, right out of the Sound of Music,but with the Aliens monsters, with a surprise deadly ending. Nopbody got out alive. Crazy, right?

    So I dream on purpose when I'm awake. I'm blaming pinterest and my friend's facebook photo albums of fabulous trips for my recent longings to be somewhere amazing, scenic, beautiful and completely different from here. Somewhere colorful, with great food.

    I wish you sweet dreams in the future, and somewhere colorful to land. xo

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    1. Mel, i have friends who are on amazing trips and they're posting all their pics on Facebook and i am literally drooling with envy. So i know exactly what you mean! Hope you're continuing to heal beautifully. Much love.

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  8. Ooohh those pictures look like heaven... beautiful.

    I know nothing about dreams, and I have a lot of catching up to do, but yes... the first thing I thought was big change and transition is in the works.

    I would love to come sit with you on that indoor patio and sip lemonade and talk about our dreams...

    xoxoxo

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    1. michelle!!!! you have no idea how excited i am to see you back in this place! yes, let's pour a cold glass of lemonade and share dreams, i would love that. xo

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  9. The top image...I am a happy fool for color, colors, and when found on a door, how can we do anything but enter. Too much beige, too much ordinary, too little magic. I would gladly be reincarnated as that chandelier. Think of the delight. xo

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    1. Marylinn, that chandelier is pretty spectacular, but then you already are that. and yes, the colors, the colors.

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  10. It's amazing to realize that some people live this life of color ALL THE TIME!

    I admire them.

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    1. Gary, i know, right? I am thinking of painting a wall of my house the way that door is painted. Not kidding either. nice to see you.

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  11. I just told a girlfriend the other day that I am obsessed with going somewhere other than here. Somewhere with turquoise and green and yellow and blue. I'm so obsessed with the need that I whimper about it, sometimes.

    As for change -- you will go gently and wisely into your new life. You will.

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    1. elizabeth, does it help that we all seem to be feeling this way? it helps me a little. and thank you for the gently and wisely comment. I will dammit.

      love you.

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