Thursday, August 16, 2012

Leaving in the morning

My girl departs for her freshman year of college tomorrow. The packing is in full force, her face a mask of somber determination. She's not ready to go. The summer went too quickly. Her friend A. who is already at college and having a wonderful time told her the leaving is the hardest part. I can't write any more about this, not just because I might break down and cry but because I don't want to fix these mercurial days in rigid black type because the very air changes moment to moment and I would rather just let it be whatever it is in that moment, and in the next. Let's just say, huge emotions are frolicing about. Here is a random photo that captures the experience of summer in New York as well as anything.


And here's a little video of my girl when she was with friends in Mexico. This is the sweet quirky girl I know will be back in evidence as soon as she has a chance to settle into her new digs and hang the little fairy lights she bought for her dorm room.






21 comments:

  1. I JUST wrote an answer to your comment on my post tonight saying that I have been thinking about you, knowing that this is a difficult time for you. Oh honey.
    Do you know my friend Terry who writes so very beautifully and heartfully here:
    http://whereyafrom.blogspot.com/
    She is going through much the same.

    Your daughter is a miracle of glory.

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  2. OK so she is gorgeous and poised and awesome. I remember the days before I left for college (the first time).
    Scary and lonely and exciting all at the same time. But I can see she will be just fine.

    It's only a few yrs away for me. I don't envy you...

    xoxoxo

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  3. I can imagine how hard this is for you and will be, for a while. I still remember the day my parents dropped me off at college, their tears, me waving good-bye. I felt sorrowful, excited and guilty all at once.

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  4. It's an exciting time in her life but she'll be back.

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  5. I'm sure it's an emotional time. I remember being simultaneously terrified and excited when I moved to college. Love the Nathan's photo!

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  6. She. Is. Gorgeous! And funny. I love her name which she shares with one of my most beautiful kids (that I use to babysit). Totally emotional. She'll be okay, you'll be okay, but I'm moved nonetheless, in a good way, for you and her. Hugs. Many hugs.

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  7. You may not say much - but it's an emotion packed post. Best wishes for you all at this life-changing moment.

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  8. I just love hearing her voice. Love her like she was my own!
    Don't break down on me yet, Mama. I might need your advice when my kids go off.
    m.

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  9. it is so exciting...she's off on a great adventure, she'll be back...and guess what? you get to go on your own great adventure. trust me.
    xo

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  10. Such a big change, I hope she flies with all the grace she has, I know she will.

    I love what you said about fixing the emotion in type, and how you'd rather let it swirl as it does. So true.

    love to you all, you must be so proud of her.

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  11. I can't even imagine the emotional soup that is going on in you right now. Like Kristin said, "It will be okay."

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  12. I'm packing linens and silly little things I keep thinking he'll need (paperclips, bandaids, ibuprofen, coughdrops) and he's only going to be an hour away, but the thought of the house so much quieter without him, the realization that he is at the cusp of everything that comes next, I just get weepy all day long. We're moving him in next week. I feel your pain, mama.

    I remind myself how exciting it was for me, and how college was one of hte best experiences of my life, and I just hope for the best of everything for all our babies.
    hugs and more hugs

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  13. My friend also has a daughter leaving for college TODAY as well! Good luck to you and your daughter. There are few moments in life where someone can physically feel a chapter closing and opening all at the same time. This is definitely one of them - for you both. As you say, let the air do what it will. xo

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  14. Thinking about you Angella and your amazing strength and grace. love,
    Rebecca

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  15. How lucky she is to have a mother who understands her so well.

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  16. I can't imagine what this feels like for you, but I know it's so very hard. I feel stabby retroactive guilt when I think of how thoughtlessly I moved out when I went to college, and how few times I invited my parents to my apartment. I did go home fairly frequently, always with a pile of dirty laundry. Not only did my sweet little mother wash my stuff for me, she'd leave me little surprises (like dark chocolate) hidden in the basket of folded, clean laundry.

    My advice for you is to go hug your husband :)

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  17. Oh honey. How I wish that I could just sit with you after your beautiful daughter leaves and laugh, cry, commiserate, while enjoying something totally decadent.(because we do deserve it!) Be with your girl. There will be plenty of time for reflection. So many changes at once can make the heart feel so heavy. I am here, holding you up from afar and very, very close in my thoughts and prayers. I LOVED the video. Your daughter is just as I pictured her to be in my mind and it is so nice to get to actually "see" her adorable personality. She is nothing short of precious. And Nathan's!!! I am drooling just thinking about those yummy hot dogs and cheese fries. There is NOTHING like it on this side of the world;)

    With so much love and huge hugs...

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  18. Oh boy, I just left you a comment and I think it might have disappeared. I'll come back to see if it shows up and if not, then I will leave you another one. Sending lots of love and big hugs at this bittersweet moment in time.

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  19. i really want to respond to each of you individually, but I can't just yet. But I do want you to know how much I appreciate the good wishes and the understanding and the love. exciting changes all around! and darn, i've never been especially good at welcoming changes, even the exciting ones. it will take me a minute, but i do believe all will be well. all IS well. my love to each of you.

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  20. Thinking about you and sending lots of love. How do we ever get used to the strange silence...I am sure someday we will feel like it is totally normal. Someday...

    Big hugs.

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