Monday, March 25, 2013

The ease of years

I keep looking at these photos I took of my mother and my son, at the devotion between them. I can't share these photos on Facebook. The way my mother has aged, so suddenly and deeply, is distressing to some of my family members, it makes them gasp with pain and pity, and I don't want to put her out there like that. And yet, I feel perfectly at peace sharing the photographs here, in this even more public forum, where the only people who come around regularly are those whose hearts are open and willing to see what is noble and tender in these photographs, and not flinch at the diminishments of age. This is my mother who is 91. This is my son who is 21. There is such love between them. I marvel at it. I—who always felt the need to be formally well-behaved around my father's parents, whom I loved, but with decorum (my mother's parents died before I could know them)—am blessed to witness the closeness between my mother and my children; between my mother and her grandchildren there is no reserve at all, only deep familiarity and care.


10 comments:

  1. What is it with a society where frailty is not supposed be acknowledged? We love to hear the stories about strength, youth and vitality but don't want to look at age, wisdom and helplessness.
    These pictures are beautiful. They are more than that. They show life and the way it is to be lived. So tender.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hardly share anything on FB. I don't trust it. But here in blog world- we are family.
    You have raised that son so well. His heart is so good. And he and your mother are beautiful. Together they are startlingly so.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Beautiful. They are so lucky to have that close relationship. I never had that with my grandparents either. I don't know why. I think the touching is so important and my family was not big on touching. At least not that I remember. I've seen photographs of myself and my grandparents where we seem so at ease but I don't remember it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I could not have said it better than Birdie. Just beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Seventy years between them -- it's really remarkable -- the power and beauty of these photos. The shadows and light, your son so large and gentle, your mother so small yet strong. Thank you for sharing them with us.

    ReplyDelete
  6. these are gorgeous; and i dont see them as sad...but life affirming. this is as it should be. may we all be so fortunate when we are eased into our fragile 90s. there is something, too, about seeing a young man reveal his softness, that is beyond words. i used to see that when my son put his arm around his grandmother...the delicate gesture, the thoughtful holding back of resting the full weight of his strong bones on her shoulders.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm thinking of you with your grandbabies Angella...and your son and daughter, the beautiful long chain of it on and on. All that love. I feel it all the way over here.
    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  8. I want to answer each of you personally, but I am feeling so emotionally fraught, so please know how much it means to me, each comment here, and your loving kindness. my love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There is a soft space that opens up around the very old. The veil between the worlds is thinner. I can see it in these pictures. It is a gift.

    ReplyDelete