I suppose it's also true about my relationship with my son, which is also in a lovely place at the moment. It is so completely about not sweating the small stuff with him. He's such a good kid. Who cares if his room is always always such a mess and that he never can remember to pick up his cups/glasses/plates from the coffee table and throws the living room couch cushions to the floor? On the bright side he brings in groceries and fills my prescriptions and always helped me with Aunt Winnie before she died. He is definitely a family person, so good with my cousins, his aunts, so responsible and intrinsically generous. I'm working on being less cranky and critical with him and wouldn't you know it, he opens up and becomes his sweetest, goofiest, most accommodating self when he doesn't feel as if he's going to be ambushed at every turn.
Life is so everything at once, isn't it? I'm juggling hospital visits with the care and feeding of my cousins from out of town with a difficult project with a short deadline. I'm trying to be all things to all people (including myself) and do my work well. It's complicated and I get undercover frazzled while trying to project calm and steadiness for my cousins. And yet at the very core of me at this moment is peace. I have in my line of sight what matters. The trick is not to lose that.
My son's 23rd birthday will be on Saturday and his sister is coming to the city for the weekend to bake him a cake. She's decided on an apple cake with salted caramel and cinnamon cream cheese frosting, with his approval. The best part? All four of us together again, if only for a day or two. This is my version of heaven.