Thursday, December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas loves


Merry Christmas to all my beloveds in the blog kingdom. Thank you for all your support and friendship in the year that was. Over here we are having what I have finally accepted is our usual Christmas, low key and slow, the gifts opened, everyone drowsing through the morning, my son playing video games, my daughter gone back to sleep in her Santa hat, my husband reading instruction booklets—I always try for at least one gift that has instruction booklets. He dives right into them. I have just finished my morning phone calls. I have spoken to my mother, all the aunts, and a few cousins, and have received salutations as well.


My mother sounded clearer the longer we spoke, and by the time I put her on the phone with her grandchildren she was all here. But she is confused these days, my brother says, or at least that is the word we apply to it, because we cannot see what she sees. The other day when my Aunt Grace was visiting her, she asked if that was their brother Terrence sitting on the couch beside Grace. Aunt Grace said, "Terrence died. He isn't here," to which my mother replied archly, "How is it that I am blind in one eye and I can see him and you can't?" She lives almost continuously in this alternate reality, seeing and imagining all manner of things. Yesterday she told my brother that she had "sent in the application" and needed to "discuss a few things" with him. She also told my Aunt Grace that she wanted to have a luncheon or a tea party for her 100th birthday in January. She will be 93 in January, but for some weeks now she cannot be convinced of this. She is quite sure that it is her 100th birthday coming up and she means to celebrate it. She told me on the phone to be sure to arrange cake and ice cream for the day, and apparently she has told my brother and his wife the same thing. My husband and I are planning to fly down for a quick visit to celebrate with her because if she thinks she's turning 100 how to explain that her daughter is not there for that?

I did manage this morning to get a photo of my son in the red onesie that his sister gave him for Christmas. It's a perfect sibling gift, I think, and it brings out the goofball in him. The men will head to the supermarket soon for the makings of Christmas dinner while my daughter and I clean up the house for round two. My cousin is coming to have dinner with us. This is her first Christmas without her husband Gary, who died in October. It is our first Christmas without my husband's dad, too, and our first without Aunt Winnie. The dominoes fall. We keep on playing. Two of my son's friends will also be here with us tonight. We are a small outpost in the city. Aunt Winnie and Uncle Charlie are no longer across the way, and most cousins who once lived here or went to school here are now relocated to other cities. Larger groupings of family are gathering in Maryland and in Florida, as well as in Jamaica, but here, we will make Christmas with friends who are like family, and I feel no pressure this year. I feel okay.


19 comments:

  1. I feel okay too and that is a miracle and this post made me feel even okayer.
    Bless you all and bless us all here in the enchanted Kingdom of Blog.
    I love you woman! Merry Christmas.

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    1. Dear Mary, Merry Christmas in the Enchanted Kingdom of Blog! I love that. And you!

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  2. Merry Christmas to you and your family, especially any family members who happen to be wearing onesies. :)

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    1. ellen, he does look kind of festive in that onesie! merry christmas sweet friend! best to you and greg and your mom. xoxo

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  3. Merry★* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ •
    •。★Christmas★ 。* 。
    ° 。 ° ˛˚˛ * _Π_____*。*˚
    ˚ ˛ •˛•˚ */______/~\。˚ ˚ ˛
    ˚ ˛ •˛• ˚ | 田田 |門| ˚

    There is a wonderful book called, "Creating Moments of Joy" that gives wonderful examples of things we can do to make a person with dementia's life better and happier. In this case, celebrate her 100th birthday! It doesn't really matter how old she really is. It would make her happy. Since she is getting on and frail and what better time for all the family to get together and do this. I know it is easier said than done but don't not consider it. :-)


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    1. Birdie, thank you for that book. I will definitely pick it up. It is exactly what I have been looking for! Hope the Christmas is good!

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  4. Merry Christmas to you and your lovely family. Thank you for sharing yourself with us! Love Sweet Jo

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    1. Merry Christmas, Sweet Jo! Thank you for being here. xo

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  5. Merry Christmas to you dear friend, too.

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    1. Dear Elizabeth, I am loving your Christmas images! What a wonderful table!! Your rock, woman.

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  6. Yes indeed you must go and provide ice cream and cake and make a big fuss...she may celebrate her 93rd 100th birthday many times before she leaves this planet! I love that she is seeing spirits (?) of loved ones, this seems to happen with folks if they manage to live long enough , perhaps the spirits have come to gently usher. Who knows anything for sure...except that your boy looks so fine in a red onesie!Christmas wishes to you, you lovely woman, and to your beautiful family. LOVE!!!

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    1. Linda Sue, I think seeing her loved ones is kind of comforting and magical. I have no doubt they are helping to prepare her. Much love to you too!

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    2. I think they are too. Merry Christmas day after!

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  7. I wish you and your family a peaceful and happy new year ahead.My best you you all. E

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    1. Thank you, e, and thank you, too, for being here. xo

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  8. It sounds like you had a great Christmas. I love the onesie. I need to get Dave one of those! (And maybe one for me too!)

    Glad you got to talk to your mom. I'm sure it's reassuring to her to hear your voice, even if she's living partly in a world of her own making. I think you're right to just give her that 100th birthday, regardless of actual age!

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    1. Steve, my daughter got the onesie at J. Crew! You can probably find them in Michigan or order them online! Isn't Dave's birthday in January? Am I making that up? Happy holidays to you, friend! xo

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  9. Merry Christmas, my friend. I see your face when I look at that photo of your daughter.

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  10. Was it Gabriel Garcia Marquez that asked What magical realism they were talking about when referring to his books? I believe as we get closer to the other side we see things we couldn't see before. I'm glad your mom's sibling is there watching over her.

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