Sunday, May 8, 2016
My girl just left to go back to school and I miss her already. It was a mad dash getting her to the bus on time, her dad drove her, and the traffic in midtown was terrible, but she made it. And then she was gone, the day just a little less bright. It was good having her home for the weekend. I am having a quietly teary day. I miss my mom, though no one has mentioned her today. It's my second mother's day without her, so I suppose I should be all used to this by now. I don't know why I'm even bothering to post this. My Blogger feed has mysteriously stopped updating. Here's one more reason to feel sorry for myself, as if I need reasons: I've gained back almost all the weight I lost. I feel like an addict. Every night I promise myself that tomorrow I'll do better. I'm not really eating much differently than when I was losing, but I suppose even a ten extra calories daily can burn the house down. Wrong metaphor, of course, since the problem is actually the opposite of burning. My body seems to be stubbornly rebounding. There was a piece in the New York Times about the physiology of how that happens. Depressing as hell.
I want to run away.