“There is a loneliness that can be rocked. Arms crossed, knees drawn up, holding, holding on, this motion, unlike a ship’s, smooths and contains the rocker. It’s an inside kind—wrapped tight like skin. Then there is the loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down. It is alive. On its own. A dry and spreading thing that makes the sound of one’s own feet going seem to come from a far-off place.”
—Toni Morrison in Beloved
I'm not actually feeling lonely in this moment, but I ran across that quote and I identified with it almost on a cellular level, as I certainly have felt everything it describes. I'm just putting it here where I can find it again, should I ever need to see my internal reality externally reflected, in a quest to feel understood.
And there it is—the reason I write here, because somehow, the simple act of doing so frequently leads me to what is true for me in that moment. I am not feeling lonely today but I am feeling sorely misunderstood. And therefore a little sorry for myself. I guess I'll just leave it at that.
In other news, did anyone see Trump's campaign speech this morning? I cringed anew at the reality of this dangerous, infantile blowhard as a serious candidate for president. I feel as if we are on the verge of actual catastrophe. Or maybe we're there already. I don't know.
There is so much hate in the world right now, it's almost a cliche. And the 24/7 news cycle is toxic. Sometimes, I look away for a while, but sadly, when I eventually look back, nothing has changed. I am doing my best in this moment to keep my focus on love, because as the wise ones always say, that which we focus on multiplies.
May love multiply. Amen.