tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post3563200525266768375..comments2024-03-28T14:45:34.423-04:00Comments on 37 Paddington: Is it okay to write about this?37paddingtonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12400464105403622384noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-53299694591456210792011-06-05T08:17:33.637-04:002011-06-05T08:17:33.637-04:00oh, Angella,
I'm just in tears...
I have bee...oh, Angella,<br /><br />I'm just in tears...<br /><br />I have been so engrossed in doing and being mama...I am sorry I missed this ... how you must feel so shattered and lost and heavy.<br /><br />Please feel my heart .<br /><br />On our travels this past week we drove past NYC, crossed the George Washington Bridge, etc and I kept looking out the window thinking... someone I love is even more near than ever...<br /><br />I hope you feel that always.<br />I pray that your circle of family and friends feels that now especially. <br /><br />xoxoAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15924061349390319473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-49967333747375254732011-06-02T08:57:14.395-04:002011-06-02T08:57:14.395-04:00I would love to answer every one of you. Your comm...I would love to answer every one of you. Your comments are so careful and generous and supportive and my God, so very sensitive and wise. I can't right now, though, so please know how much I appreciate the way you have responded here, the love and care in your words, in you. I think if Jim had had such a community as we have here, he might have felt differently about things. i really do think that real therapy happens here, when it is needed, and it is an awesome thing that I don't take for granted. Thank you. Thank you. Love, Angella37paddingtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12400464105403622384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-60602994533946653242011-06-02T00:23:01.079-04:002011-06-02T00:23:01.079-04:00It was you who reminded me, recently, that our res...It was you who reminded me, recently, that our respective blogs belong to <i>us</i>, and that we own the right to write about whatever needs to be written, and you've done that here with grace and respect, and love.<br /><br />Sending back to you all the hope and loving thoughts you have so generously shared with me of late. xoT. https://www.blogger.com/profile/16509409207991963533noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-50137583756419196082011-06-01T20:08:14.361-04:002011-06-01T20:08:14.361-04:00A hard loss for us all but it is amazing to see ho...A hard loss for us all but it is amazing to see how our little community reaches out and weathers this together. I saw your amazing daughter Sunday night with her perfect little face -- such a joy. I'm glad they have each other to lean on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-945137038134131642011-05-31T01:32:18.392-04:002011-05-31T01:32:18.392-04:00I tried to post a comment yesterday - interesting ...I tried to post a comment yesterday - interesting to see others also having trouble.<br /><br />Very sorry to read of your loss. I thought your post was a fine example of sensitive writing about difficult times: heartfelt, honest, not voyeuristic.Isabel Doylehttp://writteninexile.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-52414347408036395182011-05-30T20:42:50.278-04:002011-05-30T20:42:50.278-04:00I am very sorry, dear Angella. Strength to you and...I am very sorry, dear Angella. Strength to you and yours in the coming weeks.Olgahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10652566920769043373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-1145902115051129032011-05-30T12:07:07.647-04:002011-05-30T12:07:07.647-04:00all deaths are sad and difficult. but suicides are...all deaths are sad and difficult. but suicides are perhaps the most difficult for those left behind.<br /><br />your post was very respectful. <br /><br />so sorry for this loss in your community. <br /><br />deep hugs....mouse (aka kimy)https://www.blogger.com/profile/09385557065971602436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-31649048980456815792011-05-30T04:32:42.624-04:002011-05-30T04:32:42.624-04:00sorry for posting under anonymous - my account aga...sorry for posting under anonymous - my account again would not allow me to post. dAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-53871599031135458682011-05-30T04:31:46.187-04:002011-05-30T04:31:46.187-04:00Oh Angella, my god, I'm sorry, for you and and...Oh Angella, my god, I'm sorry, for you and and your family and your friend. You write so truly and so full of love, it must be okay. I think you honour them all with what you write. much love, DeirdreAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-32203595832381518872011-05-29T20:37:53.736-04:002011-05-29T20:37:53.736-04:00The telling of this sad story could not have been ...The telling of this sad story could not have been more sensitive or respectful. For all concerned to return to these words will comfort them anew. I am so sorry...my response to those I've known to take their own lives is not only the grief but the terrible sense of waste, wishing somehow that the love around them could have overridden the despair. Of course it must be said by the one who can say it. I love knowing all the ways in which you are there for your friends, for your family, how you recognize and take to heart the things that matter. There is strength and hope in that. xoMarylinn Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02759437467691163658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-62059328305359792032011-05-29T18:58:51.084-04:002011-05-29T18:58:51.084-04:00Dearest Angella,
You handled this horrible event ...Dearest Angella,<br /><br />You handled this horrible event with so much gentleness, honesty and love. Your words portrayed the situation with absolute grace. There is never an easy way to talk about suicide, never. A dear friend of mine lost her nineteen year old son to suicide a year ago. Same method, after a fight with Mom and Dad. She will never be the same. He not only left his parents behind, but his sixteen year old brother, as well. I have watched as his brother worked his way out from underneath the pain, back up to the surface of life. It has not been an easy swim. He graduated high school last week and will be going off to college in the fall. As you said, sweet one, life goes on... <br /><br />Different people handle the pain in very different ways. I am so sad for your daughter, that she has to know that people can become so low that they decide that the only way out is to kill themselves. I learned that lesson when I was eleven years old and my best friends mother killed herself by running her car in the garage. I still have very vivid memories of the day it happened as they were our neighbors, as well. But it also taught me that life is extremely fragile. That we are fragile. But that we are also strong and resilient. Please hug your daughter for me...<br /><br />I was listening to Marie Osmond talk about the suicide of her eighteen year old son, yesterday, and she said that one of the most helpful things that somebody ever told her was this. She asked someone if it ever gets better and the person's reply was, "No, it never does." She said that that helped her because she never sat there expecting the moment when things would just suddenly get better. I can understand that.<br /><br />I am so sorry, Angella. So sorry...<br /><br />Big hugs and lots of love,<br />DebraDebrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05328458241519464529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-48110253737723277872011-05-29T16:33:49.876-04:002011-05-29T16:33:49.876-04:00I think you honored your friend and his loved ones...I think you honored your friend and his loved ones with this thoughtful and emotional post.<br /><br />I am sorry for the loss of him.~ellen~https://www.blogger.com/profile/00315658592077559215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-18996481389911727782011-05-29T15:22:53.144-04:002011-05-29T15:22:53.144-04:00Write it down. Write all of it down. It's all ...Write it down. Write all of it down. It's all okay. I am so sorry for your loss for Jim's pain for his son for your daughter for everyone who has been caved in by this tragedy. I' sorry all the way round.<br />love,<br />RebeccaRadish Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06534752971317927559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-41975376386895542722011-05-29T14:30:48.551-04:002011-05-29T14:30:48.551-04:00also, the fact that you ended this with 'but w...also, the fact that you ended this with 'but we go on' is so completely comforting to me right now. i think 'we go on' is at the heart of true adult strength, a spirit in full maturity.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-12250153935362598862011-05-29T14:28:44.966-04:002011-05-29T14:28:44.966-04:00I am so sorry. This post is so respectful, a total...I am so sorry. This post is so respectful, a totally honorable recounting. I am heartbroken for your daughter and her friend.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14699674732274478502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-70956532904349191172011-05-29T14:17:33.199-04:002011-05-29T14:17:33.199-04:00Dear Angella, there really aren't any words fo...Dear Angella, there really aren't any words for this deep a grief, this profound a loss. It is absolutely okay to say anything you feel--Elizabeth is right--for too long, the shame and silence made it nearly impossible for anyone to heal--what can't be spoken about can''t be find a place where the sorrow sits in the heart, where anger and grief and utter disbelief and sadness can be worked through. <br /><br />As hard as it is for adults to deal with suicide, imagine how incomprehensible it must be for the children. And guilt will rear its hideous head everywhere, in everyone who loved him. It's hard to imagine that a loving father could feel as though his children would be better off without him, but that is the very terrible way despair makes a person think--hard for people who haven't felt that darkness to understand how much sense it makes when you are in that deep well. Your friends are so lucky to have you and your family, Angella. So many people who love them won't be able to bear either the family's sorrow or their own and will stay away. Just to go and sit with her, or call in the middle of the day, or bring food, or go for a walk together--there aren't words that can console her--but the 'being with her' is a very great gift,<br />Angella. Hard as it is for you and your daughter, it is the most loving thing you can do--just 'be there'. In silence. In tears.Melissa Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03270919534011711225noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-42202349446197700722011-05-29T13:33:27.761-04:002011-05-29T13:33:27.761-04:00This must be the hardest thing, the very hardest t...This must be the hardest thing, the very hardest thing. I am sorry.<br /><br />I have to think that writing things down, talking about your feelings, facing it all, head-on is a good thing. For too long, mental health issues, suicide, were only whispered about, causes for shame and silence. We can evolve into more compassionate beings by being open about tragedy, and while it doesn't lessen the grief and shock, I have to believe that sharing these terrible events works toward understanding.<br /><br />I am sending much love to you, your family and your dear friends.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-27983747907321427832011-05-29T13:27:35.290-04:002011-05-29T13:27:35.290-04:00The way back from the death of a loved one is a lo...The way back from the death of a loved one is a long and strange road. Everyone has to walk it differently and the hope is that everyone will make it back safely- changed, without a doubt, but still safely.<br />I am so sorry. <br />I'm thinking of you and your beloveds and I know there will be laughter as well as tears but no, it will not ease the pain but it will give it a place to be.Ms. Moonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09776404747858099919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-65655160662729907542011-05-29T12:22:39.576-04:002011-05-29T12:22:39.576-04:00Your post is so respectful and so full of love for...Your post is so respectful and so full of love for your friend Jim, his wife and son. Suicide is never easy, there are so many steps in the grieving process and anger is one of them. This man obviously loved his son and didn't want to hurt him, probably thought he'd hurt him less by no longer being here in earth. Of course he was wrong. But his choice was a painful one. I am sorry for your pain, sorry for all this pain, so sad for you and your family, his family, his friends. I still cry over my friend David, who also took his own life with a gun. The pain hasn't left me. It's become bearable but I remember too vividly the first years, months, days, of this mind shattering numbing hurt that I felt and being blinded by grief.<br />And I wished I had friends who had held me through the grief. But my friends in Paris didn't know him so it was a distant concept to them. Your friend, his family has to be supported, his son, he's going to need so much continuing support and love and presence. I know you'll be there. I hope others will too. <br />And I am so sorry for your loss.Miss Ahttp://ragdollinnewyork.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9107151958453669111.post-59072868617952132182011-05-29T12:20:54.333-04:002011-05-29T12:20:54.333-04:00I'm sorry.I'm sorry.gradydoctorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10639816377218206777noreply@blogger.com