Thursday, April 23, 2015

The life cycle of blogs

So many bloggers I have absolutely adored and came to count on for wisdom, humor and honest sharing are hardly or no longer writing here. A few come immediately to mind.

Deb C.
Miss A
Dottie kee
Denise M.
Others too

A few of them I am still able to connect with on email or social media, so they are not lost to me, just mostly or completely gone from here. But the ones who simply went poof, Deirdre for example, I miss with an ache akin to losing a dear friend.

I remember when one of my earliest blog comrades, Steve Reed, closed up shop for a while, I actually felt bereft, my first clue that the connections forged through the sharing of lives here can be quite real. I know this must have surprised him as much as it did me. I was thrilled when he sent me a note a year or so later letting me know he was blogging again. I was happy to fall right back into the fold. When Tearful stopped writing for what seemed like years I felt the same way, but at least I knew he was around and thriving though his wife Yolie, also my dear friend. Sometimes a friend stops writing after a period of obvious struggle, and I worry for them. Are they okay? Did they get through that bad patch? Where did they go? Sometimes, the friend just one day ups and disappears, just never puts up another post, and then one day when you check back to see if there's been any activity, you find the blog closed down, or it is now open only to invited readers, and you're not one of them.

Summer is approaching. For some reason at this time of year, I feel suddenly revealed, possibly in a way similar to the exposure I experience when the swaddling winter coats come off and we emerge uncovered into spring. I start to play with the notion of letting this blog lie fallow for a while, or closing it down completely. I never do it because I would miss the regular connection with people here whom I have come to love like family. But I wonder, would I announce that I am taking a break for a while as Steve did, or would I simply disappear, not write for weeks that turned into months and then years? Then would I one day feel moved to put a toe back into the water and hope a few familiar swimmers were still there? Would they welcome me back or would they have emotionally moved on?

I'm a little weird lately, it's true, but I'm not going anywhere. I might be a little occupied with outside writing from time to time, but I'm here for the laughs, the fists in the air, the tears and the outrage, daily life and spiritual confidences. I'm here for the writing and to chase down the truth. I'm here to process out loud. This blog keeps me a little bit sane. It is a kind of therapy for me, better sometimes than actual therapy, which left me feeling all churned up yesterday.

The truth I've chased down this morning? I'm not in the mood for emotionally churned up. I'm in the mood for inner peace.

Just know I'm grateful for all of you longtime friends who are still writing here, and for new friends whose blogs I've discovered this past year. Onward.


  1. Yes! And I miss Deirdre too. My god! Her writing was like no other's. Her life as well. Maybe she moved to Paris. I hope all good things to her.
    And now Heartinhand has disappeared, her blog closed. What? Just poof! How can this happen?
    Please don't ever stop writing here. You are a glorious part of my world. A generous, loving, shining part. I would miss your words, your pictures, your thoughts, your presence.
    Love from Lloyd on a beautiful morning.

  2. I am so thankful that I found you, Mark an DebraLynn and that we are still connected. I know what you mean and sometimes I can't believe I stopped writing. But life has gone on in different ways and I think maybe I'll pick up again, when I have kids. Maybe? Until then I love seeing you on Facebook and Instagram!

  3. I have been blogging since 2004 and there are bloggers that have totally disappeared. A couple died, or at least I figured that is what happened because they had terminal illnesses. I do remember one blogger who had a child with terminal cancer. She just stopped blogging one day. I left a couple messages but stopped after fearing the worst. Three years later she just appeared again and not only was her child fine but she was in remission! I have to say that though relived, I was a little annoyed. I think we have a responsibility to the people that care about us in the blogging world.

  4. I know what you were describing above. Most of the bloggers that I communicated with in the beginning aren't blogging anymore. I know why some of them quit, but not most. Still, I can't explain my sudden slow down in blogging after so many years. It just happened.

  5. I would be bereft to lose you.

  6. You don't know how much I appreciate hearing your voice here on your blog. Please don't ever go away.

  7. I don't have a blog and I would miss you terribly if you ever went away!

  8. Wow, even I had almost forgotten about that time I quit my blog. I was gone about eight months, I think. It was when I was working for Gannett and things were just a bit crazy.

    Anyway, obviously I understand the desire to sometimes back away from blogging. My unsolicited advice is, don't hesitate to take a break if you want one, but don't make any draconian decisions, either! I couldn't imagine my life without you and Mary and Elizabeth and the other bloggers I read. And I too always wonder about those who vanish, for whatever reason. (Like Wayne at Our Cosmic Love? What happened to Wayne?)

  9. Sometimes I wonder, will I regret everything I've revealed? Sometimes I feel brave and other times, I don't. I don't know. It's good to know that others go through this cycle with blogging too, though it seems only natural.

  10. Thanks so much for including me in the list. I miss blogging, and still reflexively think about it surprisingly frequently. I really would like to get back to doing it regularly someday.

    It feels like a betrayal when a loved blog disappears. I still subscribe to a dozen or so RSS feeds of blogs that haven't posted for years and years. If they do ever come back, I'll see it. (By the way, do you remember Blogget Jones? She recently came back.)

    I remember when I found your blog, I forget the details now but somehow it was through your cousin Deborah the silk painter. I was also painting silk back then and contacted her to ask her questions about her materials. That was in November of 2008... I am completely appalled to see that I still have Deborah's email about using Liquitex Matte Gel, in my inbox. :P

  11. I too would miss you! Though I understand the need for a break ;)
    This post gave me the little nudge I needed. Thank you.

  12. I'm here, I'm here! And I miss and love you.

    I still pop in to my favorites (you, Mary Moon, Maggie Mae, Elizabeth) once a week, but my school and work schedule makes it rough for me to be active.

    But lately, I've felt the itch write without reason or deadline. I'm not gone forever, I promise!! I love you, Angella!!!

  13. I don't have a blog myself, but have enjoyed reading other people's for quite a few years now. I know just what you mean when someone disappears. One of the first people that I read who I was led to from my daughter in law's blog, ( that was the very first!) I got to know quite well, and after a while I actually met her as I had offered her some very old knitting patterns that belonged to my Mum. I know why she stopped blogging and we emailed for a while, but my last email went unanswered, which was very sad. ( I might try again) I have enjoyed learning about you and your beautiful family, and the slightly different life that you lead in USA to the one I have here.

  14. Wow. I just found this post and oh, how it resonates. I realize that for the first five years of my blog, I wasn't on Facebook. When I got on FB, I found that it weirdly competes with my blogging energy. Have you ever felt that way? I've missed you. I come and quietly savor your words. I've always felt we were kindred spirits.