That magical hour one year ago today when these two pledged to have and to hold, to love and to laugh, to be besties forever, amen. My heart is so full today, loving their love, loving them, my daughter and the bonus son she gave us, may light surround them always, as they grow and become and find the silver lining in every circumstance and experience the joys of every version of who they are meant to be, together. I love you my darlings. Always.
That's what I wrote on Instagram and Facebook today, copied for the record here, because I have no time to blog thoughtfully as I am trying to finish a first draft of the book. I was supposed to be done by the end of July, but the finish line keeps getting further away as I approach it, as I keep seeing places where I need to go deeper, more people I need to interview, connections I need to make, layers I need to explore. I'm at 97K words now, blew past my contracted 75K words a while back, and I'm still going. I will pass 100K words for sure, but hopefully not by much, and then I will finally get to go back to the beginning and start to read the completed manuscript and see how it hangs together, where I can streamline it for flow and momentum, punch things up, tame things down—the part of the process I most enjoy. I hope it's reads okay.
I do know how to open my front door and welcome people in, though. I have been hosting houseguests all week, my cousin, his wife, and their son from Jamaica. The son attends school in Austin, Texas and is a soccer talent, and a number of colleges are actively recruiting him, so he is here this week with his parents to meet with coaches for different schools and show his skills on the field. The tryouts are at Columbia University's football field, just up the road from me. Turns out I was wrong when I said my family would not visit us in New York this summer given what is happening in the country. Jamaicans are resourceful and defiant. They go where they choose, for their own reasons, and figure out the necessary workarounds. I should have remembered this about my family.
My cousin’s wife, the mom, is consciously curating her social media in case their youngest gets in to a good school here, and because their second youngest, a daughter, is already in college in D.C. Their oldest, a son, graduated a few years ago and works remotely in tech or finance or something, I'm not quite sure. He shows up in our social media feeds everywhere, from Turkey to Greece to South Africa to Portugal, and we all shake our heads in awe as we watch this handsome young man live his best and most intrepid life. Their second oldest, a daughter, is just finishing her pediatric residency as a doctor in Jamaica. Her dream is to join doctors without borders. My cousin's wife has told her younger two that if things don't work out in America, there are options. I love her pragmatism and fierce mother fire. The family is a joy to host. They make their own breakfast, clean up after themselves, find their own way around the city once I give them directions and a house key, and they are wonderful conversationalists as well. I just need to provide dinner most days, which generally entails ordering in from whatever food venue the group has decided dinner should come from that night. Everyone is easy to please. They arrived a week ago today and leave on Monday.
Then it will be back to my routine, writing in my corner, trying to keep my heart from crumbling out of my chest as a besieged people starve in plain view of us all. One day, the saying goes, we will have all been against this. We are against it now.
Not surprised to hear your family is resilient and defiant. We're all finding our way despite the madness.
ReplyDeleteWriting can be a terrific cocoon. Keep going.
Bless you, db, you found this post even though I haven’t sent the notice of it yet. That makes your comment extra special. Writing as a cocoon. You know, that’s a perfect analogy. It does feel that way. Something to do, and people are waiting for it, which gives the work its own internal motor. I’m grateful to have it to escape to. To escape *into. Thank you for being here, my friend. .
Delete“Experience the joys of every version of who they are meant to be, together”. That’s the loveliest and best expressed wish I’ve heard in a long time. As a writer you always find the right words. May they enjoy for many years to come. How lovely that you can see your Jamaican family! So glad they are tough and resilient in these awful times.
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Barbara
Barbara, my family definitely understands the meaning of not obeying in advance; come to think of it they's not so big on obeying after the fact either! We keep going as best we can, find the good where it exists, and do what we can for whoever needs it along the way. Nice to see you here, friend
DeleteYour Jamaican family is brave as well as resilient. It's hard to believe what has become of this country. It doesn't seem like a year has passed since the wedding. Their get away sounds delightful.
ReplyDeleteAllison, it hardly seems like a year has passed to me, too, until I start looking at all the ways in which the world we inhabit is so fundamentally changed from one short year ago, and then it seems like a lifetime. But the newlyweds are doing well, and this lifts my heart.
DeleteIt is beyond despicable what's happening in Gaza. Now I know how so many felt when Germany started rounding up Jews. The irony.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to your daughter and son in law and I'm glad you've had good company. Take care.
Pixie, never again will I wonder how Germany in the 1930s happened. We are watching it happen again. Could this really be?
DeleteOh, those crazy kids, going to the country to a spa. I would never think of that! But how perfect, really. You and I are both so lucky in the mates our children have chosen.
ReplyDeleteOf course your family is brave and smart and determined enough to figure out how to dance through the bullshit to get here. If they weren't, you would not be here to begin with. That is what is in your genes. So, okay, maybe the gene for staging grand events isn't one you carry (again- we have this in common for sure) but let's leave that ability to those who have it. The ability to stand back and observe and celebrate is a good thing to have too.
I can't wait to hear who this latest book is about. You are a force of nature when it comes to this sort of work. Get it, girl. I know you will.
Dearest Mary, you make me feel seen, and make me feel that it's really ok to be just the way I am, let others express their event planning talents, and I will quietly sit in my corner and observe and enjoy the people I love, really, i need so little in the world. Only their presence. But they have full lives, so I must fill mine, too, lest I burden theirs. But yes, we are lucky indeed. Thank you for your belief in my ability to do the work. You always say I will get it done. And somehow I shall. Because that's who my parents raised. The one who meets her commitments. But oh my, the journey. Hugs, my friend.
DeleteI love the bouquets, the exquisite color and the beautiful, caring generous couple - They have grown together ! I hear your immersion / keep working and so glad that you have precious and enjoyable time with your family this summer!
ReplyDeleteIsabella, immersion is a good word for it! The happy couple skipped town and celebrated in nature. No need to juggle any big personalities but their own. Our babies are wise. Hugs to you dear friend. Dinner soon!
DeleteHang in there. You got this. And so does your wonderful family.
ReplyDeleteCodex, dancing as fast as I can! Looking forward to reengaging more meaningfully in blogland soon. Hope you’re hanging in there as well.
DeleteYour writing sounds so exciting, and I can’t wait to add the book to my collection of yours!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, we had a meal together at the very start of this project, the night before I had the first meeting, before I ever wrote a word. I feel as if you and Carl and Oliver and Sophie sent me off to the creative mines like loving fairy godpeople. I’ve carried you with me all the way. Love to you all.
DeleteYou definitely have a way with words and the way you express your love of your family. I'm sure the book will be amazing as they all are.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to have to sit and watch this country be overcome with meanness and worse, enabling a country purposely causing starvation.
ellen, i think the only thing that can save us is our love for each other and I don't think that's a corny sentiment at all. i think it is love that keeps us all coming back here, writing to each other, saying to each other, I see you, we are in this together, we will not abandon one another, that at least we can do.
DeleteHappy Anniversary to the lovely couple! Wishing them many years of love, laughter and fun adventures!
ReplyDeleteThank you dear, Ellen, for that fine wish. I will pass it along to them! xo
DeleteHappy Anniversary to your children, and kudos to you for hosting and laboring so intensely on this project. Your client is lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteThank you e. Let’s hope she feels that way after she reads the manuscript!
DeleteCongratulations to the beautiful couple. I am looking forward to reading your newest book. I’ve tried to comment numerous times; I hope this one works!
ReplyDeleteLaura, it worked! I wonder why you had trouble before. In any case, it’s nice to see you now and thanks for the good wishes on behalf of the no longer newlyweds.
DeleteI'm so glad your book is going well. It must be a pleasure to immerse yourself in a deep project like that when so much of the news of the world is so bleak. It's great to hear that your family hasn't allowed Trump's shenanigans to thwart their visits!
ReplyDeleteSteve, it is a relief to have the immersion of the writing, except I'm starting to feel a bit of deadline pressure now, and also, I'll be much happier once I know my subject is happy with what's on the page. Still, it is an escape for sure.
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