Thursday, July 19, 2018

Three special events

It's been a rather social week. My son and his girlfriend had us and his sister and cousin and their loves over for brunch on Sunday, and it was wonderful. His dad and I got there early to watch the World Cup Soccer final match with them, and the others came later. We all ate much too much of the baked french toast with salted frosted flakes topping and the hash with sausage gravy, eggs and bacon. My niece's fiancé had a birthday, so there was cake, too, as well as mimosas and lots of lounging about chatting and laughing and bemoaning the "itis" (inside joke). I love this photo of my husband walking by my son and instinctively cradling his head in a palm much as he used to do when our boy was a baby. Love habits never die.


The next night we turned out en masse for my daughter's fundraiser, a dinner series held at Cadillac House in SoHo, with three nights of five course meals by noted chefs and their mentors. My daughter is the special events coordinator for a non profit that aims to feed New York's hungry. To achieve that goal, they stage very fancy fundraisers with various celebrated chefs donating their talents throughout the year. The Cadillac dinner series is probably the only one we can actually afford. On Monday night we were treated to creations by Angie Mar of the Beatrice Inn and her mentor Pat LaFrieda, served family style at two long and elegantly appointed tables, with each course paired with a different, exquisite champagne. My favorite plates were the bing cherry tart with beef suet crust, braised veal shank, and for dessert Mar's now famous bone marrow creme brulee. There was also a signature cocktail that involved smoked whiskey, that my husband seemed to enjoy.


We ended up being seated next the night's sponsors, four VIPs whom my daughter's special events team wanted to ensure had a good time. Last year they apparently sat next to a couple who spent the night complaining about how much they hate gay people; the sponsors did not appreciate that one bit. This year, my daughter's boss decided her family would be a safe bet to seat next to the sponsors, and so there we were, schmoozing and clinking champagne glasses with them over every course. It was big fun, and our girl felt happy she could count on her crew to come through for her socially. She didn't sit with us this year. She was on her feet the whole night, making sure everything was happening according to plan. But she came by often, leaning over our shoulders to taste the dishes and sip the parade of champagnes.

My daughter's boyfriend, who's at the center of the photo above, captioned this picture "Fifth wheel: When you take 'when you're dating me you're dating my family' literally"—which made my husband and me chortle. Later in the evening, one of the executives of the nonprofit came up to us saying how much they love our daughter, and did we know she recently got a promotion. Maybe it was the champagne, but like a giddy mother I put a hand to my heart and gushed, "Oh, thank you!" and he rushed to say, "Oh no! She deserves it! She's wonderful!" My daughter laughed till tears came when I related my rather embarrassing response. This is her job after all, not kindergarten.

Then last night, my husband and I attended a play, He & She, written by our friend James Sappho. It's about a couple coming to terms with the past on the third anniversary of their daughter's accidental death. It was beautifully written and sensitively acted, and the sadness of the subject matter was ameliorated by the presence of a dancer on stage at all times, who portrayed the daughter, a spirit unseen by her parents but continually offering them comfort. It reminded me of the film classic, Wings of Desire, which I have always loved. I loved James's play too, and felt so privileged to be watching its premiere.

Afterward, eight of us went out to dinner with the playwright himself, who was feeling very vulnerable right then because a woman had just come up to him and critiqued his story, opining that the daughter shouldn't had died in a road accident but should have put a gun to her head, that would have been more dramatic. I was appalled. How dare this woman? Besides, she was completely wrong. The couple in the play would have been inconsolable, and the dancing joyful spirit that was there helping them find their way back to each other would not have rung true. We all tried to reassure him and let him know how moved we were by what he had written. That women clearly has no idea that when you write a play and put in on stage, you're putting your very soul out there for people to love or to trample. It's terrifying.

Speaking of the small terrors of writing, my editor likes the new first chapter I wrote so now I can finally forge ahead with the rest of the book, which is what I am doing today.

20 comments:

  1. I absolutely love to read. It’s my favourite thing to do. One thing I rarely do is give a book a bad review. First, I could not write a short story to save my life, nevermind a whole book. And then I try to remember that there is a person out there who probably reads every single review and I would never want to hurt anyone’s feelings. To me, leaving a mean review is just an outlet for unresolved personal issues. If I read a book I didn’t enjoy I simply donate it. All that said, I did leave a scathing review for Fifty Shades of Grey.

    The picture of your husband and son made me tear up.

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    1. Birdie, I know what you mean. A writer who does reviews once said to me, "You know, no one ever set out to write a bad book. And no matter what you think of their effort, it took something to sit there and get it onto the page." I try to remember that. Besides, I've always been a big reader of so called trash fiction. I honed my writing chops on Mills & Boons, if you know what those are. I think its why I verge on purple prose to this day. And yes, that picture stirred me too. Thank you.

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  2. I love that picture of your husband and your son.

    the fancy dinner sounds wonderful and I love creme brulee but bone marrow?

    you wouldn't think the PR person for the theater would be so rude.

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    1. ellen, you would think people would know better and just be kinder. I removed her ID from the post because I didn't want to create a situation for my friend. But he said he didnt care, so. And bone marrow creme brûlée was...interesting.

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  3. Well I would love to sit next to you and yours for any occasion. What kind of people say things like they don't like gay people out loud and in public? Were they raised by hyenas? Sorry, that's mean to the hyenas. Your husband's hand on your son's head is just wonderful.

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    1. Allison, thank you! I wondered the same thing! New York used to be a pretty amenable city but this sort of ugliness is starting to crop up--rolls from the top, of course.

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  4. starting with dessert first, the Dad and son photo is delicious- the best part and the sweetest! Always start with dessert first, just in case! Loveliest and most endearing photo ever. I do believe!

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    1. Linda Sue, my daughter's motto is Life is short--eat dessert first. I can't argue with that.

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  5. Lovely photo of your husband and son. Crème brulee with bone marrow, nope. I know bone marrow broth is the new thing but in soup, not dessert. Did it taste good?

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    1. lily, the creme brûlée tasted ok, but it was hard to get past the idea that the container in which it was served was a hollowed out piece of bone. But I dove in bravely.

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  6. I can absolutely feel your son's head in my own palm and not only is that photo beautiful but your comment- Love habits never die- knocked me upside the head with its truth.
    Phew! What a week you've had! "Rather" social? I'd say that it was very, very social and it all looked lovely! And that's not just a smoked whisky. It's a SMOKIN' whisky!
    And Lord, are you right about how the manner of death of the daughter would have entirely changed that play. More "dramatic"? Then the entire play would have been about the suicide, not about what the author set out to make it about.
    This is why I never write reviews.
    I love you and yours, darlin'! So proud of your girl!

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    1. Ms Moon, it was just a tender moment in passing and I lifted my phone and captured it. My son didn't even pause in what he was doing he's so used to this gesture his whole life long. Such love they share.

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  7. Wow! You and your husband socialized more in the past week than I have in many years combined! I'm impressed with your stamina and joie de vivre. Love the photo of your husband and son. So much love always. And yes, what kind of people criticize a play to the playwright in such an absurd manner, and the others who bemoaned gay people. Yikes, folks, just be quiet. My mother used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So glad your new writing project is going well.

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    1. robin, we aren't usually that social either, but this week just happened to hold a trio of events. And you know, my mother used to say the same thing! I knew your mother reminded me of my family, one aunt in particular. I felt right away as if I knew her.

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  8. Thanky for taking us along to such wonderful events.

    And massive congrats for a successful first chapter!!!

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    1. Thank you, Sabine. It wasn't successful at first, the first submission was not accepted, my editor wanted me to begin in a different way. It was anxiety ridden, trying to get it right, and now I need to press onward and make up for lost time. People have no idea how vulnerable it makes one to present any form of creative work. It's an art knowing how to critique constructively, being honest yet supportive.

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  9. I’m embarrassed that I stayed home and worked all week but today when I went to take lunch to a friend who got her appendix removed! No wonder I don’t blog! I’d have nothing to write about! So happy your first chapter was received well and you’re on your way. And the photo - just love.

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    1. Joanne, I have many weeks like that, too! I hope your friend is mending well, and how lovely of you to have taken lunch for her. And yes, the photo is pure love.

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  10. What a lovely outing and for an excellent cause. You have to be bursting with pride for both your kids -- their dedication and successes must bring such joy.

    Happy to hear your project is starting off well and has perhaps alleviated some of your worry.

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    1. jenny_o, i am proud of my kids, both of them. they are hard workers and responsible humans and all the heart clutching moments have been worth it. May there be few of those going forward!

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