Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Going there

These are all places in St. Lucia, where I will be going with my daughter and two of her college friends for spring break at the end of the month. We won't be staying in any of these luxury homes. We will be staying at my mother's house, which has been undergoing a renovation that includes a new and much needed roof, repair of water damage from the last hurricane, pulling up the old carpet in the bedrooms and den and putting down easy-to-clean tiles, refurbishing the bathrooms and powder room, painting everything, reupholstering some of the furniture, and so on.

The house now looks nothing like it did when my mother was there, so I am having a little emotional storm about that, and I need to prepare myself. I need to now think of it as a house in St. Lucia we can go to, that is steps from the beach and adjacent to a very lively part of town, dining and entertainment wise, and how lucky are we to have that. I have no idea if I will even like the new decor. I haven't yet seen any pictures, but the real estate agent, who is responsible for renting the place to short term renters and earning a commission from that, likes it, so I suppose that is what matters.

I have a knot in my chest as I write this, remembering the house where my father last lived with my mother, the house my children went to each summer growing up, to spend the month of August with their grandmother and their cousins, and how much they are who they are today because of those summers. I pray that I make the transition to the new life of that house with enough grace and gratitude, and how blessed I am that my daughter wants to make this trip with me. We will all have a fine time, no matter what, and life carries on.


  1. Ah- reality versus dreams.
    It will be beautiful, no matter what because your daughter will be there with you and that water will not be changed. Nor will the spirit because you will bring it with you.
    And you will be warm! And that soft, warm air will renew you in soul and in body. I am so glad you get to go.

  2. It is always hard. I drive by the house that I grew up in somtimes and long to go inside. I long to look out the window of my bedroom and see the signs of spring popping up. Both of my parents died in that house, but what I remember is our life there as a family.

    You read my comment correctly. My son is a paramedic both in Georgia and in Alabama. He works shifts in both states. He has been doing this since 2002 and still loves his job. I hope that is your son's experience.

  3. Yes, you will have a fine time, sounds wonderful! The bones of the house will sooth you no matter the cosmetics. Spirit is still there and welcomes you with love in it's dry wall, and floor joists. I went by my old house, in a town far away, ONE time...I felt like IT felt I had abandoned it to another family that was not quite up to the excellence of mine. True, a bit run down, grass turned to tumbleweed, gardens gone, paint peeling, I made my peace and told it "sorry", all things change, and "thanks, for keeping us safe and warm" a good house to grow up in. I believe the saying that you can never go home again, not the home in memory, it has changed as everyone and everything does. You will have a great time in the best company , so good!

  4. You'll be creating new memories with your daughter, and that's what counts! I hope the house pleasantly surprises you in its new, redecorated form.

  5. Change is hard. Once in awhile we drive by the mountain house my grandparents lived in when I was growing up. Just seeing it from the outside takes me back in every way. I hope you will have a wonderful time. Of course you will.