Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Food and other drives

I was having the most pleasant dream. I was with my parents, my mother had fallen in love with a house somewhere in New Jersey, and bought it. It was nothing fancy, but she made it nice. She had that knack. I was there spending days with them as they arranged the place, and my daughter was with me. I slept in a room downstairs, which morphed somehow into a dorm room, and men came in to hang my pictures on the wall, but by the time they came I no longer wanted the pictures hung, as I'd drawn my own pictures on the walls. I was in this lovely reverie with my mom and dad and then the phone rang, startling me awake. It was to confirm a delivery for later today. I pressed the button for yes as the recording instructed and hung up, falling back onto the pillow. It was still dark. My heart was hammering. And then I remembered, my parents had already died. The call in the night that I had feared and dreaded had already come, twice. I settled my breathing down, and tried to catch back the dream. But it was gone. I comforted myself that they'd seemed happy puttering around together in that house.

And now we welcome the hordes for Thanksgiving. Today I'm going to move the furniture around in the living room for easier flow. And clean the house. My cousin Nicky gets here tonight. Tomorrow morning she and I and my daughter and my niece will go out for breakfast at our favorite Greek diner—Nicky craves diner pancakes on her first morning in New York. Then we'll come home and begin cooking as we wait for the rest of the party to arrive. My whole goal over these next few days is to take things as they come, to not get overly attached to an idea of how things should go, to let events simply unfold. Pray I manage it. As my friends here know well, it's not my natural state.

That's my girl working a Thanksgiving food drive outside her daddy's museum. People could either buy a bag of fresh produce to donate to soup kitchens and shelters or they could give money and my girl and her fellow volunteers would get the produce from the farmer's market themselves. This being New York, everyone gave money, because who has time. Our girl came home exhilarated from how much they raised to feed the city's hungry. Doing good makes her happy. I love how that works.

Okay, back to work until my niece wakes up and can help me move the furniture around. I'm grabbing every minute I can. I have to get the manuscript to my subject this coming Monday, and there's a house full of humans and a gauntlet of festivities between now and then. I find it so interesting that my husband and I did not grow up with this Thanksgiving tradition and now it is our family's favorite holiday. I wonder if that's because we got to invent our own way of doing it. Hmm.


13 comments:

  1. What a beautiful dream! How I wish I could have such peaceful dreams but I hardly ever do. And what a beautiful daughter!
    I think Thanksgiving is an okay holiday because we're just all there to cook and eat and be together. It's not about religion or giving gifts or anything but just...the ones we love and food. And if there is plenty of love (which some of us are lucky enough to have) and plenty of food, there is not much to stress out about. Of course, I can say that because we're having Thanksgiving at Lily's this year!

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  2. I would like be to feel that warmth in and of your home. Reading you is like turning on a small light on the darkest morning how that can dispel demons also that is the biggest turnip I’ve ever seen in my life.
    Love

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  3. such a different family dynamic. the last time I dreamed about my parents I was yelling at them that they were dead. but the family that my husband and I generated, our kids and grandkids, have a different dynamic (his wasn't that great either, his father disowned him and us by association). have a wonderful holiday.

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  4. "My whole goal over these next few days is to take things as they come, to not get overly attached to an idea of how things should go, to let events simply unfold. Pray I manage it." That's an adage for every day of the year. Thank you for writing it.

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  5. I think you are exactly right about why it's your family's favorite holiday! What a lovely dream.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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  6. This post brought tears. How I wish I could be with my Mom again.

    -invisigal

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  7. What a beautiful dream. That's how we meet up with our parents now, in those lovely heart-opening dreams. Love that photo of your daughter. It is the best of truly Thanksgiving.

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  8. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I think it makes perfect sense that you dreamed about your parents at this familial time of year. I'm curious -- what's your favorite Greek diner? I love a good NYC diner and I've been to about a million of 'em. :)

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  9. I was just thinking recently that I don't enjoy family get-togethers as much as I'd like because now it's ME, not the generation above me, who is responsible for producing all the food - planning, shopping, baking, cooking (although my husband helps with that, I'm still the primary cooker) . . . I feel like special events are special for everyone else and for me they are just work. At least I finally understand why my mother was always stressed out at the holidays :) I hope you have lots of help, lots of time to relax, and lots of laughter and warm moments!

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  10. I hope you had a happy time...and will have many more. Your daughter's light and good heart must be amazing to watch.

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  11. I am guessing that you had a lovely Thanksgiving full of family good vibes. We did at my house too. Your daughter looks so cheerful collecting for the food drive.

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  12. Always love reading your blog!!! I hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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