Thursday, January 28, 2016


I think this is a gorgeous picture of my babies. I love those radiant faces and the way the photo captures their sibling-cousin togetherness.


I've been watching the Amazon Prime series, Transparent, about a Jewish American family in California whose secretly trans father finally decides to live her truth openly, transforming from Poppa to Moppa, as her three grown children now call her. The acting is amazing; easy to see why season one swept armfuls of awards at the Emmys.

Anyway, toward the end of season two, a character says, "I'm NATO—not attached to outcome."

Well, that struck a chord with me, the control freak who can't help herself as she tries to engineer all outcomes. I've been thinking about it a lot, the idea if being NATO. And I wonder, does being not attached to outcome require the belief that if we just keep doing what's ours to do, things will turn out okay? If only I could release worry and be truly NATO.

I'm working on it.


  1. That makes me think of what your sister said, and what I have been saying to my own sister ever since: you should maintain your abundance mindset. Easier said than done, I know.

  2. Those children. Whenever you feel as if you aren't accomplishing all you could be, step back, take a breath, and realize that you and your husband have accomplished THIS and that is enough in and of itself. Not just their physical beings, but their work ethics, their education, their joy.
    I don't know if I can be NATO. Is that different than not really giving a shit? Haha! Just kidding.
    Love you, darling.

  3. I can so relate to you. This anxiety over work when you are a consultant is always there. I'm in my 22nd year and I still worry. I've been wildly successful and the last 4 years i barely made it. This year it's picking up again, so far. It's hard. The less I worry, the better it is but of course that's not easy. I must think about NATO. Luckily you have those kids to fill your heart and be proud of. They are so beautiful. I ask for what I need to live the life I am meant to live. And I try to remember that worry changes nothing at all.

  4. NATO! I love that. Now can I live it? It is a work in progress but that is what life is, isn't it?

  5. I mean -- that photo? Your kids are scary gorgeous. And acronyms sort of drive me insane, al though that's a good one. I've loved and hated Transparent. I think Jeffrey Tambor is incredible, but the whole show is a bit too too, if you know what I mean. It's exhausting.

  6. This past year I have learned to shrug a lot. Whatever the outcome, I'll handle it. Some outcomes seem better than others, but I have very little control so I just take whatever comes.

    It's liberating.

  7. that the same as not my monkeys not my circus? Your kids look radiant...

  8. That's a great expression! I've never heard of being NATO, but I used to tell my friends in disputes that I was Switzerland -- which admittedly isn't quite the same thing.

  9. Wow. This is exactly where I find myself. My first impulse is NATO and I feel it in my bones to be the appropriate path. Unfortunately no one around me agrees.
    Could those children be any more beautiful? They shine.

  10. Regarding your question, I answered in the comments section if you want to take a peek.

  11. What a wonderful picture of your young ones!

    I am not NATO. I don't know if it's a good thing or not, a thing to strive for. It seems to me that we need a healthy dose of attachment to outcomes; it directs our efforts. But if it just causes us to worry - that's something we can do without.

  12. Your family of young people is beautiful and they look both kind and happy. That is a blessing.


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