Sunday, January 23, 2022

A chain of hands

My Aunt Winnie once commented that if there were a fire or flood or political crisis, her sister Grace would grab her husband Ken and call to her offspring, "Come along, children!" but if my mother Gloria were in the same situation, she would grab my brother and me and call to her husband, "Come along, Las!" (short for Lascelles). I was in college when apropos of nothing Winnie made this observation as we sat on her terrace one summer afternoon, and for some reason it stuck with me, made me wonder what kind of wife and mother would I be? Would I grab my children and call my husband or grab my husband and call my kids? Grace and Ken had a great love story, so perhaps Winnie was making a statement about their epic involvement with one another. But I always thought my own parents had a great love story, too, though theirs was more rooted in practicalities, at least as far as I could see, so I couldn't quite get a fix on the point Aunt Winnie was making. I don't even know that she was accurate in her opinion of her sisters' relational priorities, but I do think she was making a comment, indeed a judgment, about said priorities. I have no idea why I woke up remembering this today, marveling that Winnie's tossed off reflection back when I was twenty had stayed so present in memory. I pondered it anew and realized that if faced with a need to escape, my husband and I would each grab a child with one hand and then grab each other, and maybe you can do that when it's two of you and you have only two children, whereas Grace and Ken had three. Still, what's to stop any family making a chain of clasped hands in the name of love and survival, and that is my rumination for today. I have no idea what it means, except maybe I am missing my mom and her sisters, and knowing them, they might all be together in the spirit world right now, happily debating this very question.


In other news, our daughter's love came down from Boston for an event in the city this weekend, and he bunked with us. Our girl stayed up north with their pup, happy not to be traveling anywhere or having to find a boarder for Munch. On Friday evening, her young man asked my husband and me a question that made us all very happy. The moment was heartfelt and beautiful and blessings and bear hugs were freely given. I won't go into it any more than that because people deserve to reveal themselves to the world in their own time. Even though I'm being a little bit cryptic here, I'm sure you can probably guess what comes next. Hmmm, come to think of it, maybe that's why Gloria, Grace, and Winnie were visiting during that interval between sleep and waking this morning. Maybe they were a family welcome committee. Makes me smile to think it.



16 comments:

  1. Yeah, I would grab my children first. I had weird dreams all night too. Dreamed my daughter was worried she was pregnant and another dream that involved a deaf child, snowy roads, my son learning to drive and dolphin balloons that kept losing air.

    Congrats to your daughter, although this is not an offical congratulations obviously at this point:)

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  2. I can see the faces of the past and of the future in those beautiful faces.
    I love the image of the long chain of ancestors, bound by clasped hands, everyone a part of the whole that lived, lives, and will live in time and in our hearts and in our very blood.

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  3. Well, obviously he's going to ask her to marry him. And I think maybe I would have grabbed my kids as they are the future and knowing that my husband is capable of bringing up the rear. Or in boating language being 'sweep', making sure no one in the chain is left behind.

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  4. Ahhhhhhhhhh, I love the sound of that happy question! How very exciting and I cannot wait to hear more details! We have had the same conversation about who to grab. My husband has made it abundantly clear that I'm to grab the children.

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  5. Such an interesting question about whose hands to grasp first in a crisis. We have no children in the house, but if we did I think we'd all try to grasp hands together and run. Or perhaps my love and I would shout to each other... "You get Kid One, I'll get Kid Two...Run!"
    I love that your daughter's loved talked with you and your love about the sweet future of their love.

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  6. holy cow! that gave me goosebumps! OH MY!!! Your girl!!! SQUEEEEE!
    As for the question of whom to grab- I reckon adults are on their own unless compromised, kids first always.

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  7. Wonderful news for you and your lovely daughter.

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  8. Ah! The family welcome committee.

    All joining hands in the name of love and survival.

    It is a joy to hear this good news in the lives of your daughter and her beloved and to see them formally choosing to go forward together. The two photos move me deeply as does the vision of your mother and her sisters all being together in a spirit world.

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  9. How exciting for you and soon the planning begins. For me...grab the kids and exit everyone together.

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  10. How lovely of him to go the traditional route and ask you first. Your daughter has got a keeper there! You have given me a big grin on this dull grey morning here in SE England!

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  11. Oh time to go hat shopping then! Exciting.:D

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  12. They are such a beautiful couple. I wish them long lasting love.

    Maybe it depends on the age of the children and everybody's mobility. At this point our children would be helping us out of the burning house.

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  13. Strangely, I was thinking of my aunts who have gone on this morning too.

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  14. You have been lucky with love in your life! May the tradition continue!

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  15. My friends and I had a saying when our kids were toddlers. Never let them outnumber you. This was particularly pertinent when one of us was babysitting the whole gang of them.
    Two each, quick hand grabs and you're off. Love the pictures this makes. I would be a kids first grabber, but then I have Mr Competent for a husband. Unless we were in a canoe (as we frequently were with the kids). They swam well. Him, not so much. But it would be the canoe we all should have grabbed. Hmm. Not sure where I am going with this. Around in circles.

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