Women with freedom hair

I went out to dinner last night with two powerhouse women with big freedom hair, both of them authors I've worked with in the past, one a college professor who years ago hired me as an editor at a magazine. She is the ultimate connector, the woman who knows everyone. When I was laid off three years ago, and the company was trying not to count the years I'd worked for the magazine before their monolithic corporate forces acquired it, this woman was the person who called me up as soon as she heard and advised me to call her friend, an employment attorney. Her lawyer friend not only billed me at well below the going rate, she was completely successful in resolving the situation. This friend with whom I had dinner last night was also the person I called when I wanted to find a new agent; she went into her virtual rolodex and gave me names, and even called ahead on my behalf. She's also referred people to me for work, and she made me look good last year when I was hired to edit a commemorative issue for a museum's 90th anniversary and she said yes to writing one of the articles. I'd do anything this woman asked of me, because she's just one of those people. Turns out she had asked us two women to dinner last night because she felt at an impasse. She wanted to brainstorm about the next stage of her life, and get our input. The three of us ended up having an animated conversation about what we wanted from life now, how it had changed from previously, and how we might put the pieces in place to make the fantasy come true. Women together. It can be magic.

The dream is real

Overcome: My Life in Pursuit of A Dream is now up on Amazon and available for preorder. I am given to understand that the price one will actually pay will be a good bit less than is shown, as Amazon discounts all its books by 35 to 40 percent. The official pub date is March 29, 2016. I'm so excited to attend the book launch/ 98th birthday party for Dr. Simmons! I'll be flying back to Oakland for it in mid April. There will be pictures.

In good faith

I love this moment from last Thanksgiving. I see these faces and feel nothing by joy in their existence. They remind me of the promise that exists in the world, even if my niece does look a little skeptical of whatever it is my daughter is telling her.

Things have been a little unsettled over here lately. A dear friend is facing a situation I can't write about, but it's fairly consuming on this end. I do wish I could post about what's happening, as writing helps me process, but there are larger privacy considerations. In the meantime I'm wading deeper into research for my next project, which is at hand. I'll need to start drafting next week, so I'm buried in transcripts and other reading this week, trying to master the language, history, people and preoccupations of a particular world. As always at the beginning of a new project, I'm nervous, not yet sure how I will accomplish the work, but knowing that having undertaken it in good faith, somehow I will.

Speaking of good faith, I'm very moved by the sincerity with which my son, now 24, is listening to the presidential race debates and political news shows, and the care with which he is analyzing the various candidates' positions. He's so much more versed in their policy positions than I am; I tend to be rather impressionistic in this process, going with my feelings about what I see and hear. My son is more methodical, delving more deeply, with an intention that seems to me very pure. Today he took a quiz on the issues at ISideWith.com, in an effort to clarify what matters most to him and where he falls on the continuum of values and belief on each issue. He just emailed me the results. No surprise, he's a far left leaning progressive, and Bernie Sanders is the one whose ideas most align with his. But Bernie is followed quite closely by Hillary Clinton, and then by Jill Stein of the Green Party. I think it's important to be idealistic when you're young, and my son is certainly that. But I'm very impressed by the thoughtfulness he's bringing to the question of who deserves his vote. He's not taking this decision lightly.

Against the blaring backdrop of the 24/7 political news cycle, what's your style of assessment and/or what considerations matter most to you?

When we lived in a pink house

Our first apartment had "dusty rose" walls. He called it pink. I found him unbelievably hot so he could call my color choice whatever he wanted. We were such footloose kids, playing house, marveling that we now got to build sand castles day in, day out. Thirty years later he is still my favorite sandbox buddy, rock solid in a crisis, my best friend.

Near poets in shadowed space

“We are never real historians, but always near poets, and our emotion is perhaps nothing but an expression of a poetry that was lost.” 

― Gaston Bachelard, The Poetics of Space

First look

"I am almost one hundred years old now. With the passage of years I have developed a hard-won peace and a deep sense of gratitude for the great gifts that have been bestowed on me in this life. I now want nothing more than to share my experiences as evidence that no matter how bleak the moment we are living through, we can overcome. We will overcome. But we may need the help of another person who believes in our vision as strongly as we do. I have come to appreciate that in medicine and in life, our greatest human need is for the hand that reaches out to touch another; the hand that closes around another’s and pulls that person forward in a supportive embrace."

Ellamae Simmons, M.D.

From the introduction to Overcome: My Life in Pursuit of A Dream

Last night I received first proofs of the book. The truth is I am wracked with insecurities about it, about whether I have done this woman's extraordinary life justice, and there are small things I'd like to fiddle with (like, should the cover have had a gloss finish instead of a matte one). But we must go forth in order to have printed books in time for a book party we're planning to hold in Oakland with the inimitable Dr. Simmons as the guest of honor. Her 98th birthday on March 26 is coming up fast. I'm really looking forward to seeing her again. I hope she will be pleased by the outcome of our joint self-publishing endeavor. 

Cousins

My son and my niece travelled to their old college stomping ground Ithaca this weekend to hang out with my daughter, who is in her senior year of college there. Their cousin Dani, also attends college in Ithaca, and the four cousins apparently had a fabulous time together, even if the sleeping arrangements were a bit crowded. My son was coaching a track meet at Cornell on Saturday morning, and my daughter had a step performance on Saturday night, and they all attended everything together, joined by my daughter's boyfriend who attends her same school. They cheered each other on and sent out occasional glimpses of the fun over Snapchat, and I couldn't help thinking that wherever she is, their grandmother was smiling to see them all together in supreme joy and comfort like that, completely entertained in one another's company. My son and niece are driving back to the city as I write this, and I am sure I will hear some hair raising stories of visits to old haunts, like the legendary Moonies just off the Commons, where your feet just might stick to the floor. My mother and her eight siblings instilled a deep love of family in their children, and I can't even describe how gratifying it is to see it so fully expressed in yet another generation.

One year

My brother wrote this on Facebook today. It says everything.

One year ago you took your last breath as I held you. Life stripped of all its trappings, the emblems of mortality condensed. So misleading if you don't know. A speck in the passage of time, but a huge hole in the lives of those you touched. Dearly beloved mother, wife, sister, aunt, relative, or friend, you are gone but never forgotten. You live on in our memories and thoughts daily. We all miss you so much.

Tears. 

Hope is the thing with, you know

As the world goes crazy around us, I look into my child's eyes and realize how much goodness there still is in the world. Emily Dickinson's feathers, perched in the soul.

Anything, Everything

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” 

―Shel Silverstein