College Home Stretch

Things are starting to shake out now in the college quest. My son is entering the home stretch is this process, and as my husband predicted, the choices are becoming clear. He's been admitted to ten schools, but as we are discovering, the acceptance only feels real when it's accompanied by real money. A lot of doors are closing. Some we are closing voluntarily. Others are being slammed shut in our faces.

There's the great engineering college that gave him a good solid financial package, but he isn't really feeling them. There's the public university in another state that he was deeply passionate about, but their financial package arrived yesterday, and it was a paltry sum, with a $29,000 span of daylight between what they offered and the actual cost of attendance. Then there's the school that's come on strong in the late innings, the one upstate that he applied to only because two of his cousins go there. He sent an application almost out of family solidarity, barely considering it a real option. But they gave him good money.

Now they've selected him as a finalist in a scholar program that gives up to full tuition. He has to go for an interview weekend at the end of the month, and I'm worried that I'm starting to hope too much that it works out. The more I read about the program, the more I'm realizing how great an opportunity it would be for my son, the annual trips to other countries to work on community service projects with his group of 15 scholars, the chance to stand for something, create something, with a group of fellow travelers around him.

It's scary to really want something, but on the other hand, I have never deeply wished for anything connected to my kids' education that did not come true for them. I think the universe recognizes and rewards commitment. I think it hears when I'm praying for something that will help my children grow, and my whole heart is involved. So now, I am starting to wish for this, really wish for my son to be chosen for this scholar program. I'm starting to pray that he will want it for himself, because only then will give himself over to all that it offers. Please, God.