Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Why she rambles, no one knows

For some reason I feel incredibly tired today, like I'm moving underwater. Weird. I went walking with a friend and neighbor last night, the two of us having engaged the battle of the pounds, and now we aim to add intentional exercise to the equation. I enjoyed walking and talking with her. We have so far known each other only in a casual way, though we lived for a while in the same building. Our sons are a year apart, and we'd sit on a bench when they were small, and share stories about schools, homework headaches, that sort of thing. One day, after our boys were grown, I realized I hadn't seen her in months. I saw her husband in the laundry room and asked him how she was doing. He said, "You know we're divorced, right? She lives in a different building now." I was shocked.

Back when we were both in the thick of parenting, I used to see her and her husband going for summer evening walks together, and I thought how connected and loving they seemed. Just goes to show you never know what's going on inside any marriage. Anyway, she and I met up again in the year-long weight loss group I joined. I was thrilled to see her in the room the first day. I always liked her wry, laid back demeanor. Last night, our children now grown, we shared stories of ourselves instead, and it was lovely to finally start knowing each other in a richer way. Unfortunately, it was freezing cold, so our bench sitting at the end of our walk didn't last too long. But we've pledged to make this a regular thing, so our friending will continue, I think.

Thanksgiving is a week away, and we have relatives flying in to spend the holiday with us, the usual suspects, two cousins whom I adore, and two nieces, whom I adore. They're flying in from Orlando, from Trinidad, and taking the bus from upstate, and everyone will be staying here. My other niece who now lives in the city with her boyfriend, announced she's sleeping over here the night before and the night of Thanksgiving, so she can be part of the revelry. And her best friend, who's been with us for Thanksgiving the past few years, will be traveling from Philly with her new boyfriend. My daughter's friend from college, who's feasted with us the past two years, will also be joining us again this year, though she'll probably stay over with my daughter at her apartment across the courtyard. My cousin from Boston is also coming, but she will stay with her sister in the Bronx. I heard a rumor she's bringing her new boyfriend, too.

On Thanksgiving Day, we count twenty-five or so guests for dinner, and I'm already getting quietly anxious about cleaning the house, spreading all the beds with fresh sheets, and creating the meal, even though most of the cooking is done by my husband. He insists he is up to it this year, despite his recent medical odyssey . My daughter will help with the very crucial basting of the turkey. Meanwhile I'll keep whisking cooking bowls and utensils into the dishwasher and running it on cycles so the kitchen doesn't get too overwhelming.

Even though I'm eager to see and spend time with everyone, this is usually the time of year when I wonder if maybe I need medication. It helps that my husband's mood is so mellow these days. It mellows me out, too. I hope when he goes back to work he'll be able to keep the intense stress of his workplace at bay. It's been the main silver lining of his recent illness, the chance to be away from there and reconnect with himself. But now he's eager to go back, to feel useful again. I swear he carried his whole department on his back most of the time. He is sorely missed.

On another note, can you believe Congress is trying to sneak another repeal of Obamacare past us by tacking it onto the tax bill? I suppose they think people will be too distracted by the holidays to notice or too confused by the details of the enrich-the-rich tax plan to puzzle it out. Time to start calling our representatives again. It never ends.

Well, this was a ramble. Thanks for reading here, sweet friends.

21 comments:

  1. Sometimes a ramble is the only that will do!
    And I have to tell you- if that many people were coming to stay with me and to have Thanksgiving, I'm pretty sure there would not be enough medication in the world for me to deal with it.
    It is nothing short of a miracle that your husband feels well enough to make Thanksgiving dinner. He is the MAN!

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    1. Darling Mary, you get it. Logically, I know there is no reason to get anxious yet I start quietly hyperventilating. It's all fine once everyone is here and we're in the swing of things. It's the overthinking in advance that is the problem. And yes, my live in Thanksgiving cook is the MAN indeed! xo

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  2. How nice to reconnect with a friend not seen in a while. Like you, my husband also cooks and I do all the clean-up. He's definitely the better cook! Your group of 20 with stay-over night guests sounds festive for all. Seems like a couple of main dishes will be prepared for 20. My group is smallish, only 10. Appetizers, wine, main course, side dishes and pie (from the bakery). Easy does it!

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    1. Hi Anon, I love your "easy does it" reminder. My daughter plans to bake pie, and our guests bring dessert do we don't have to worry about that, but there are several favorite dishes that people expect to be on the table, but perhaps I shall get a head start on some of them the day before! Have a wonderful thanksgiving when it gets here. (Wish i knew your name.)

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  3. Our government here in Canada always sneaks the most terrible changes to bills on long weekends. I don’t care if you are left or right, it’s underhanded and should not be allowed.

    However, I am excited for you this Thanksgiving. So much to be thankful for. I think you should do a little cleaning if it makes you feel better but don’t worry about it too much. Your home looks lovely and everyone is there to see you and your husband. And with that many people there is no space to even notice. It will be messy within 5 seconds of everyone arriving. And think of this. Have you ever gone to the home of of someone you love and notice what there home looks like? Be good to yourself. Relax and enjoy because the only thing that is important is love and family and being together.

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    1. Birdie, how perfect is your observation that no one will even notice the state of the house 5 seconds after arriving. And yes, we have so much to be thankful for this year, not the least of which is that my husband will once again be making the turkey. Hugs, friend.

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  4. Ramble On Rose ~ that's a song from one of my favorite bands, Grateful Dead. Your ramblings are somehow familiar to my own, especially the before-hand-angst of having lots of company...funny how it's so stressful beforehand, yet so wonderful in the midst of it!!! Very happy I found you through Ms. Moon ~ your writing is magical.

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    1. lulumarie, it's lovely to see you in this neck of the woods! we both love us some Mary Moon! and yes, it's the buildup that's stressful, I suspect we probably both put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make everything perfect, which of course it can never be, and doesn't have to be. xo

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  5. What a nice connection you're making with your neighbor, and what a lovely thing to look forward to...people will be busy hugging and greeting and talking to notice the house, so please relax and enjoy. You are so fortunate. Hugs...

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    1. e, i do feel fortunate. it is a wonderful thing that people make us their thanksgiving destination. it is my children's favorite holiday, in spite of my annual stress fest. I appreciate the reminder to recognize the blessing. Hugs.

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  6. This will truly be a day of giving thanks in your home (after the nerves calm down!). Twenty people would send me around the bend. The most we've ever had here for a big meal is seven!!

    So nice that you have re-connected with a friend from the past. We need all the kindred spirits we can find.

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    1. jenny_o, we have twenty or so people every year, and in a rather small apartment, and somehow it works. Last year we had more than 30, though, and really that felt like a great weight on the camel's back. Though the evening still had its charms. xo

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  7. I love that you reconnected to your friend! It is probably particularly nice for her since her divorce. I am your husband feels up to cooking. Mama Jo here would remind him not to overdue it. I’m going to friends and am in charge of pumpkin pie! So easy. Blessings to you and yours! Joanne

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    1. Joanne, pumpkin pie, yum! I will try to keep the man in check. I think the main thing is for me to get my anxiety under control so as not to add stress to the proceedings. He's able to go with the flow if I'm not too wound up. Flow, that's the key! Happy thanksgiving when it gets here!

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  8. I love that you reconnected with an old friend and are enjoying to the new connection. You really are going to have quite a houseful on Thanksgiving. I remember those days so well. My parents always had the big Thanksgiving feast at our house when I was growing up. Nowadays, Roger and I live so far from family, we mostly just do a lovely quiet dinner, just the two of us and go for a nice long walk. This Congress and President upsets me more than I thought possible. I miss Obama so much, it breaks my heart.

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    1. robin, your thanksgiving sounds a lot like our christmas, which is always very low key and will be more so this year now that both our kids have moved into their own places and our son will be working on Christmas day. A lovely quiet dinner and a nice long walk sounds like just the thing.

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  9. What a beautiful space! I'm happy you've got a walking partner. When Scott doesn't walk with me, I listen to podcasts. He's so much more interesting though. May you all have a wonderful holiday.

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    1. darling yolie, i am sure scott is an endlessly interesting walking partner! I shall have to try walking and listening to podcasts. anything to distract the mind and let the body remember what it knows how to do. I wish you two nomadic lovebirds a wonderful thanksgiving too. love.

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  10. We need to ramble. It clears the head - eventually.

    I can relate to your man's need to get back to work. But give him time and make sure he doesn't stress himself out right at the start because it will fee like a mountain to climb at first.

    And what a gorgeous room with that light!

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  11. That room is so warm, the colors, the light and that wonderful piece of art - it's just you.
    It is the time of year when a lot of us feel closed in, not just by the weather and the early darkness, but a heaviness in our souls. I hope that if you do get medication, that it brings light in every way.
    And I also hope, Angela, that it is the warmest of days for you while you celebrate with your loves. Breath deeper that you usually do, we all should, it gives a bit of energy. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

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  12. Wow -- that is a LOT of people for Thanksgiving. I am impressed with your ambition! I'm glad you reconnected with your friend and you'll have so much warmth around for the holiday.

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