Tuesday, December 19, 2017
Synonyms for Healing
Mary Moon wrote the other day that when you're sad or anxious, it always helps to let a few tears out. For some reason, these synonyms made me weep a bit. Maybe I was imagining how good and grounding each of these feelings would be. I do not fear my memories. I do tend to turn trauma into story. And some days, I walk toward possibility. But those are the only synonyms of healing I can claim. I ache to experience the rest.
I am, at the moment, supposed to be writing a proposal for someone, and I am lost. I don't know what I am doing. I only know I have to have the whole thing done by the end of next week, and I am a little panicked. A lot panicked. I wish I had been secure enough not to take on this project. It's making me just a bit more crazed than the mere fact of Christmas leaves me.
Still, I got online yesterday and bought presents for everyone in one fell swoop. They are all being delivered right to my door tomorrow. Maybe that's not quite the spirit of the season, but at least holiday gifting is no longer on my list of things to stress about. Not quite a synonym for healing, but today it's what I’ve got.