Sunday, March 17, 2019

The living and the dead

The weekend was just lovely, with my niece and her fiancé and my son all sleeping over, and my son's girlfriend joining us today. My niece and her fiancé were here to help his parents move to a new apartment in Brooklyn. My son also stayed overnight on Friday because he'd just done his first stint at a firehouse in the city, and had to be up early the next morning to join his class of probies who had been "voluntold" to carry the 343 flags in the St. Patrick's Day parade, to represent the 343 firefighters who died on 9/11. He was out there in full dress uniform for most of the day, mostly standing in formation and not moving, and joking with his fellow probies that they're all broken in now, they show up and do what they're told. See the photo up top? My boy is in there somewhere.

He stayed over with us again Saturday night because his girlfriend was in New Jersey spending the weekend with her family, and my son doesn't love being alone. He's quite clear on this truth about himself. He's happiest when there is a least one other person around; the world feels sweeter to him then. When he first graduated from college he elected to live at home for the first two years, then he moved in with his girlfriend. While he was living with us, he'd come in at night and call out, "Hey roomies, I'm home."

I feel a little melancholy right now, for three different and distinct reasons I won't go into. The Sunday sadness descended on me after the kids left with a suddenness I wasn't prepared for. But my love is taking me to the movies in an hour, and I'm grateful for a date night distraction. It is silly to be sad about events that feel beyond my control. I wish I knew how to tuck the inconvenient emotions away in a box. As the Tearful Dishwasher would say, it's not what happens, it's our response to what happens that brings suffering. I know he's right, but that doesn't prevent me from getting sucked under, even though I know there is no real point to this suffering.

I've also been thinking a lot about New Zealand, and their government's response to the mass shooting at the two mosques last week, in which 51 people who were worshipping were murdered as the shooter live streamed the carnage. The instagram site Muslims of the World has been putting up portraits of the victims and telling their stories and I'm so moved by them. Most of all I'm moved by Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern's response to the tragedy. A day after the shooting she announced a ban on assault weapons and pledged that all 51 funerals would be paid for. She also promised the families of the dead that they would be financially supported for as long as it took for them to get back on their feet, even if it took years, regardless of their immigration status. The prime minister also attended funerals of the slain wearing a full hijab in solidarity with the grieving Muslim families. New Zealand is showing us how a moral society behaves.




14 comments:

  1. She is a woman with honour and integrity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. We are living in such challenging times, it's hard not to be saddened by it all. I have been waiting all of my life for the epiphany, the awakening. Seeing the Prime Minister of New Zealand gives me a glimmer of hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Robin, if only we would follow her shining example. Sadly, we will need a change of leadership first.

      Delete
  3. First, sorry that I haven't commented lately! I'm having a terrible time keeping up with my blog pals, and that's no reflection on any of you. Don't worry about whether I can still see your blog -- I can! When I have a spare moment I'll catch up with everything I've missed.

    Dave and I were talking last night about how admirably New Zealand, and Jacinda Ardern, have handled this terrible incident in Christchurch. Can you imagine living in a country where ONE mass shooting leads to promised legal changes to tighten gun restrictions, and where the leader shows such solidarity with the blameless victims? It's common sense and, as you said, simply moral, and yet so remarkable in this crazy reactionary time.

    It's interesting how your son prefers people around him. I am just the opposite -- I love my alone time. It takes all kinds, I guess!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steve, I'm so glad to see you here! Yay! I go through periods when I'm so busy I fall behind on commenting, too, and then I have to catch up all at once. Which I do, because I cherish my community here, which you are an important part of. You are one of the first blogs I began following when I first started! And now here we both are, living completely different lives than we were then. And yes, the prime minister of New Zealand is showing us real leadership. I hope we take note.

      Delete
  4. Just catching up now, Angella - I didn't realize you were posting because, as you have noted, your blog no longer shows up automatically. I'll know now to check my bookmarks instead.

    New Zealand's prime minister is truly a shining example of what a leader should be. She seems uncommonly unique among politicians, sadly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenny, i am so glad you checked in. I would miss you if you weren't here.

      Delete
  5. What grace New Zealand is showing. What dignity and yes, moral integrity. I saw a group of students, I think, doing a Haka for the deceased and it brought me to huge weeping. So, so different than what happens here after one of our (way too many) massacres. What is wrong with us?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, grace and dignity, yes. I, too, was moved by those students doing the Haka. I watched it so many times.

      Delete
  6. Incredibly moved and inspired by Ms. Ardern and the nation of New Zealand's willingness to comply with stricter gun laws. There are just a handful of folks there who feel threatened by not being allowed military fire arms...They have no influence. Quite the opposite in this country. Although, Congressman Luis Gutierrez has taken a strong stand as have the newly elected Democrats. We will be a better nation having gone through this horror, I am hoping.
    My boy and your boy preferring to be social, to have human company, is a mystery to me. I am introverted and prefer to be alone most of the time. I admire our son's ability to be with other humans willingly!
    Thank you for your blog- always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda Sue, thank you for being here. It means a lot. So your boy prefers human company, too? Like you, I need some alone time almost daily to function.

      Delete
  7. Jacinda Ardern embodies what true leadership is or can be.

    ReplyDelete