Thursday, December 12, 2019

Here comes the sun

As I sit at my dining table working, I'm entertained by the changing light. I take the same pictures over and over, marking the seasons, the hours of the day. I have a desk in my bedroom that looks out at a sturdy tree, but this clear wooden expanse of table in my living room is where I generally prefer to be.

I read an editorial yesterday that argued that the reason the Republicans keep screaming at us through the television screen is to provoke so much annoyance that people turn off the TV. They're staking the future of their party on low information voters—people with their heads in the sand. It might be working.

We are just two weeks away now from our trip to Jamaica for my niece's wedding. We'll be staying in a villa on the north coast, at the same property where our family reunion was held some years ago now. It's going to be so much fun. I'll be surrounded by all my favorite people. So why am I anxious about what I'll wear? I have no proper island clothing anymore, nothing floaty and colorful to wear to the wedding, and as for climbing into my bathing suit, well, let's just say some sort of beach coverup will be employed.

I called the very lovely personal shopper with whom I won a complementary session a couple years ago. I have an appointment with him next week. We shall see if I come away from that with my silly yet enervating appearance anxiety calmed. Why is showing up, even when surrounded by the people who know me best, always so damned hard? Here's another work table photo. Those sunbeams reached right into my house and posed for the picture.






12 comments:

  1. I love the view out your windows. When I read your posts I am always struck by your presence, even here in the virtual world of the internet. When you go to Jamaica, your family will have the gift of you there in the real beauty of life in the moment.

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  2. I am so hungry for light now and this sustains me. I will never get over figuring out how to be okay in clothing. But Jamaica oh Jamaica and you going home going to the sea the sun and the lilt and all those colors thank you.

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  3. ps I think your observation about people turning off their televisions is correct. I finally gave up yesterday after watching all of it there is too much hate and ignorance and sheep-like behavior coming from the republican side and now I too think of the process as matter of choosing sides and it should not be partisan at all. I am just digging in for winter. Love you.

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  4. On NPR just now someone posited that a lot of the Republicans are repeating their same defenses of Trump in hopes that he will tweet quotes from their little speeches. It puts them in the spotlight which they think helps them politically.
    Sigh.
    Your window pictures are fabulous.
    And I have been thinking about that personal shopper guy! I'm so hoping that he can find things that make you feel as beautiful as you are.

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  5. I love the view from your window.

    Wear what makes you feel you. :)

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  6. What a wonderful light space you have.
    I am sure you will find just the right colours and materials to enjoy yourself in a warm tropical climate. Lucky you!

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  7. Sunlight has found you at your work table as you prepare to journey that place of light that was your first home. Me encanta your work table photos.

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  8. I think the personal shopper did a great job last time and I imagine he will this time as well. I also think that your family doesn't care what you wear and that they love you, not your clothes. However, I also know that a pretty outfit makes me feel better.

    And your view, lovely. I like seeing the sun come in through the windows as well. Our sun is just a little too low in the sky right now.

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  9. Clothing really affects how I feel about myself, so I get it. I hope your shopper does as good a job as last time; if so, it'll be all good :)

    Lovely photos. What a tranquil space!

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  10. I think I'd prefer that view too. I have to have windows, many windows. the one I sit in front of the most looks east and certain times of the year, like now when the trees are leafless, I have to wear a ball cap or else I get blinded until the sun rises high enough.

    I imagine the island would be a great place to bet some breezy floaty island clothes. my mother in law quit coming to family gatherings and celebrations years ago using the excuse of having nothing appropriate to wear and not wanting to spend money she didn't have on something new. I think she just didn't want to bother. she's become something of a recluse now.

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  11. Wear what feels like you...Those views are wonderful!

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  12. That's a beautiful work space! I hadn't heard that theory about the Republicans -- interesting. I'm sure the people in power -- I mean REALLY in power, financially and otherwise -- love it when voters tune out and turn off. That's why it's so important to keep voting, no matter how disgusted we get!

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