Friday, July 13, 2012

News Cycle

I feel as if I am communicating through a thick pane of glass or from the bottom of a clear pool or the far end of an air tunnel. I feel disconnected somehow, not quite real.

The news doesn't help. Here are the stories playing on a loop this morning:

1. A 26-year-old woman from Queens who went missing, whose sister received a chilling text message from her phone saying "The girl whose phone this is is dead," has been found alive in Texas. She boarded a bus away from her home because she said her parents were forcing her into an arranged marriage. Pretty girl. Of course. Otherwise the news would have taken no notice. I'm glad she is safe.

2. A member of Michelle Obama's security detail threatened to shoot her and then used his phone to show a picture of the gun he would use. What the hell? The man has been removed from the First Lady's security detail. I don't understand such hate. But perhaps it is not hate, but deep mental instability.

3. Folks are calling for Joe Paterno's statue at Penn State to be torn down, and for the whole multi-million dollar football program that failed to protect vulnerable little boys to be shuttered. I second that emotion. And third and fourth it too.

4. Steven Tyler is leaving the judging panel of American Idol. JLo and Randy may not be far behind. Is anybody still watching?

5. A New York Senator and others are all in a tizzy that the Ralph Lauren uniforms to be worn by U.S. Olympic athletes all bear "Made in China" labels. Discuss.

There are more grim stories that I don't have the heart to report here, but why am I letting all this in? I'm just bringing myself down. Inside me is a vague hurting place. I know what it is. It's just life really. It's nothing more than the particulars of being alive in this body, looking out at the world with these eyes, connected to the people in my orbit.

And, too, I am missing what was. My children are grown. They are in a good place. I miss the years of raising them more than I ever imagined I would. But all is well with them. Despite the usual challenges life throws up to help us strengthen the muscle for living, they are amazing and wonderful and really okay. May that ever be so.

Here's something sweet from the news cycle. The New York Philharmonic concerts in the park are back. The New York Times carried this photo by Joshua Bright of children enjoying the music in Brooklyn's Prospect Park last night. There's an idea. Maybe I'll go listen to some music under the stars. I hear the Philharmonic will be in Central Park next Monday.



  1. You know what we all need to do, Angella? I think we all need to learn to meditate and then DO IT! I think we would all benefit so much from that. I'm going to look into it myself because like you, I am becoming completely overwhelmed about things way beyond my control leaving me unable to control or at least deal, with what I can deal with.

  2. Ms Moon, That is a great idea! I avoid the news as much as I can. but even so...

  3. It sounds to my uninformed ear like you are indeed "missing what was," as you put it. The news cycle never helps, but I suspect empty nest syndrome is at the core of these feelings.

  4. Something about that last photograph made me feel better after reading all of that. The news makes me feel anxious in my soul sometimes. . . . and I don't have an empty nest. I like the idea of being still. . .meditating. .. silent prayer. . . whichever you so choose. . . just being still.

    Hugs to you.

  5. I don't know if I will ever really have an empty nest. Last week we had 30 young men and women staying with us for up to 6 days. This past weekend another dinner party for 11 of my eldest daughters friends. I do love it but I am officially.....exhausted with a thyroid on the fritz. I do meditate and it does help with letting go. God really is in charge and I for one cannot begin to see his plan from this tiny point of view I call my own.
    And on the youngest just tried out for it in Chicago. It is indeed in huge turmoil within. p.s. Love the rosaries!

  6. Ah yes, my sweet friend, we are definitely in the same place. I'm a bit frightened, how about you? I just cannot help it...But I know, that both of us will make it through this tunnel to come out brighter on the other side. Don't ask me how I know, I just feel it in my bones.

    Big hugs and lots of love,