Friday, July 1, 2016


Yesterday, I made the final delivery of the book I was working on, a ghost project that no one will ever know I wrote. The family of the subject raved about what I had written, and I confess my ego kicked up a bit, and I wished that the world could know I'd done this. It turned out well. I supposed I should just be happy that my subject is happy. This anonymous role is, after all, the deal I agreed to. So now it's time to call in the next project from a benevolent universe. This freelance life is a relentless walk of faith.

On the good side, I'm going to Ikea with my kids today, and that should be fun. My daughter is looking for full time work and my son is in the gap between quitting his last job two weeks ago and waiting for the notice from the FDNY (and Oh Lord, it had better come), so we're all free as bluejays. My poor husband is toiling away, but the rest of us are reimagining our living spaces.

My son wants to get an entertainment wall unit for his room, which makes me think he's getting quite cosy in there. My daughter wants to look for a bed frame for when she moves into her own apartment. And I want to look at kitchens. I am dreaming about redoing mine. It is hard to commit funds to such a large scale project when your paycheck is intermittent, however. Still, I'm gonna dip my toe in the water, see what things would cost, see what I might like.

Of course, if I'm thinking of redoing the falling apart kitchen, I'd also have to paint the whole place and rethink the battered living room furniture. The sprucing up endeavor just snowballs.

But I can dream.


  1. Angella, you wrote: "So now it's time to call in the next project from a benevolent universe. This freelance life is a relentless walk of faith."

    True words. My husband is at a crossroads, an unexpected downtick in his freelance work, and it's time to reassess where to go from here. It really is a test of faith - you have to remind yourself that it's all worked out before and no one has starved...but there's always this little voice in my head that whispers, "no one has starved YET."

    Here's hoping the Universe sings for us all.

    1. Christine, here's hoping that the universe is just giving your husband a delicious rest (although how delicious can it be if we're worried, which as a freelancer we always are!), and lots more work is on the way. it's all worked out before—evidence that it will all work out now. Oh, this faith walk can be hard. I'm sending good thoughts your way. What field is your husband in? Much love to your family.

    2. Angella,

      Gary is a freelance director of photography for television. He's done it for almost twenty years, it's what he went to school for, and he loves it. He has a tender heart so hopefully this is just what you said -- a rest.



  2. Oh! It is so true. You start to do something with an end table and next thing you know, you're redoing the wall paneling. But hey- life is short. Make yourself happy, love.
    I am SO curious as to this book. So curious.

    1. Ms. Moon, since writing that post my thoughts about what needs attending to have spiraled out of control. So now I just feel overwhelmed and unwilling to tug at the first thread. Sigh. On a brighter note, isn't hanging out with your grown kids fun! We had such a good time!

  3. It's not just you who would like people to know about your latest work! Confidentiality can be a bummer.

    I hope you find a way to make your kitchen dreams come true - or part of them at least. Sometimes that's all we need, a few changes that make everything else okay.

    1. jenny_o, maybe i just need to start with something doable, like painting the whole house. even that feels like a steep hill to climb in terms of the chaos. but that might be the little change that makes a big difference! xo

  4. Confidentiality accepted but anyway congratulations. If I have faith in anything at all, it is that the next project will present itself to us, regardless of what we are looking for. Dawdling is a good first step, I find. Highly underrated, unfortunately, it frees your mind and lets the light into all those tiny cracks we think we have covered.

    But ikea kitchens or rather the assembly of same can be quite a task even for the most close knit family/couple. Did we ever fight . . .

  5. OH friend, I am painting my house RIGHT NOW! I went with Rainwashed from Sherwin Williams with an accent wall of Jasper. It's not ... you know what, I was just going to diminish it as not important, but it is. It will start to make this space mine. It mutes the brashy colors of my Cuban predecessor. I quite like bold, but these blue and green just look cheap to me. I want to class the joint up a bit.

    I'm going one room at a time. Today was dining room, tomorrow living room. In upcoming weeks, a two-bedroom area.

    And then hopefully in late September, redoing my kitchen. It is a small galley space, in the 50's cottage style, which suits me fine. When I have a large kitchen, I stock up too much. I may try to hire a designer because I think especially with a kitchen there is much I am out of the loop on, and making that small space work well is something I want.


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