Sometimes, when I look down the road, I get exhausted at the thought of year after year of trusting that the next project will show up and then I think I should just find a job somewhere, with a steady paycheck, in any field of endeavor whatsoever. This is fear talking. I'm putting it here so I can stare it down.
That was my girl before she dressed up as an ice cream cone for Halloween on Saturday. She and her friends went to hear a heavy metal band headlined by one of their crew. She says they ended up playing mini golf in the basement of the Brooklyn venue till 4 AM, in costume, a rather odd evening. I don't think her ice cream cone with its red balloon cherry headband on top scared any ghosts away, but I'd wager her smile might help temper my angsty feelings this morning.
There's something to be said for having someone else set the structure and worry about the overhead and the priorities. On the other hand, there's something to be said for being your own boss and having the ability to make your own decisions and enjoying some flexibility in scheduling, too. Good and bad days in both, I think. Your daughter always looks so kind and approachable and joyful in her pictures - beautiful inside and out.
ReplyDeletejenny_o, my daughter is a kind soul, her heart big and wide. and yet she navigates this hard city like nobody's business. I'm so impressed with her, even if I am her mother, and therefore quite biased. but thank you for seeing her spirit.
DeleteYour girl grows more beautiful all the time...As Jenny-O points out, you have more freedom and flexibility, and you will always have work. You are in the best city for that.
ReplyDeletee, i am in the best city for the work i do, that is for sure. also the most expensive city, so there is that. i am trying not to worry so much, which is always easier to do when i am immersed in work!
DeleteHer light shines strong.
ReplyDeleteMary, it does. I know you know what that looks like from your own girls. xo
DeleteYour daughter is such a beautiful young woman! As far as getting a job, you seem to be doing great all on your own.
ReplyDeleteDrita, stops and starts, this freelance thing. if only i could kick up my heels during the stops and trust the starts to keep arriving, lol. So glad you're moving ahead with your beautiful paintings!
DeleteI'm with you on the anxiety of trusting the universe gig to gig. Oy vey! I'm juggling a few balls with my ever-present hope (or stupidity?) that they'll keep coming. And your daughter just gets more and more beautiful each day.
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