Sunday, March 18, 2018

Sunny and gray

I am far too susceptible to other people's moods. I drink them in almost without being aware, and then I'm slogging through gray, trying to figure out why everything feels so edgy and unsettled. The man had several months of serene emotional weather as he recovered from his surgery. The air in our house was as sweet as it's ever been. But lately, his brow has been knitting together more, the weather turning dark, and I think he's worrying about something, or not feeling as well as he was. It could be that the world is just wearing him down again, especially work, where one person is extremely difficult and emotionally draining. Then again, maybe it's me, worrying overmuch and hitching the flow. I suppose I am writing this here because acknowledging it helps me simply to sit with it, letting it swirl and eddy and, soon enough, pass on through. That's the idea anyway on this bright, cold, and distinctly chemical Sunday.


Photo: Louiza Babouryan

14 comments:

  1. Distinctly chemical Sunday resonates deeply in me. I think people who don't feel at least a bit of worry these days are asleep. I hope your shadow mood passes quickly I hope your man perks up and his crappy co-worker takes a long hike. If you ever need to get away I am here for you both.
    Love

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  2. I'm the same way. So is my husband, he always know when I'm feeling a little off. He can't fix it but he often knows before I even do. Chemical/shitty Sunday today. It's snowing, still. Katie attacked me in the car and she scared me. I wonder what I'll do when I'm older and not as strong. As it was she scratched up my ear and we took her home instead of continuing on with our Sunday outing. My daughter scares me, that's my crap today.

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  3. Will he talk or is he a typical strong, silent type? My husband won't talk until I prod a bit; he thinks there's no point because there's nothing anyone but him can do about stuff. The "burdens shared are burdens lessened" thing does not seem to work for males who were raised a certain way.

    I hope things settle soon. It's draining to be unhappy or to live with someone who is.

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  4. I am merely cranky today but that's nothing for a Sunday.
    But oh, how I understand! When my husband is depressed (which is so very, very rare) I can't stand it. My heart just collapses. I feel as if I must DO SOMETHING! And as if it must somehow be my fault when in reality, it rarely has anything at all to do with me and thus, I can't fix it.
    Be patient. He will eventually tell you what is troubling him, if something indeed is. But know and be sure that it has nothing to do with his love for you.

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  5. It is so easy to absorb the emotional stance of the one closest to us. When my daughter is depressed, it feels like there is a ball of iron in my stomach. When and if she wants to share it, I cannot affect. So I just stand by, like you. And she knows, just as I am sure that your husband knows, that I am there, standing by.

    Your Love for him is a sweet thing to watch.

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  6. Being an Empath is exhausting at the best of times. Other times, it’s hell and impossible to describe to someone who isn’t. I often say that being an Empath is beneficial to everyone but me.

    Yeah. I need better coping skills!

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  7. You are a sweet sensitive woman. Whatever is working its way out for either or both of you, you will know and deal with at the right time. I hope it is merely work and nothing more sinister. Love this photo.

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  8. You see so clearly through your writing. Sending love on this afternoon as you let the gray pass through.

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  9. We are all so connected. Through happy, sad and all the in between times. I hope this unease resolves soon. Unknowns are always most difficult. Take care, Susan

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  10. I hate Sundays, some days. I'm sending you all the love. The photo is gorgeous. And you are an Empath. Fill yourself up with joy. Replenish yourself.

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  11. Yes, this winter is tough. We have to sit it out and wait for change. Patiently, carefully, ready to help each other.
    Take care!

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  12. I struggle with this affliction/gift too. Even being conscious of it does little to alleviate the feelings. Sending you love and light. XXOO

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  13. It may seem exhausting to identify so strongly with the moods of others, but it's also an incredible gift. No doubt it's part of what makes you a successful writer. I hope whatever is troubling your household swirls its way on down the river very soon!

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  14. When you are observant you will see all the things, even the ones that most people might overlook. The furrowed brow, the darkening skies. The watchful eye brings both sorrow and joy.

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