Monday, September 9, 2019

My two worlds



I am from both these places, the concrete city and the verdant hills, the stately temperate trees and the vibrant tropical colors, both live inside me, fuel me, though in different ways. I have been too long at a stretch in one place, and the other is calling to me. At year’s end, I will return there, the place where I was born. Until then, the hills and flowers in that photo posted by my cousin will have to sustain me. Being from two places at once means never fully belonging anywhere, not here, not there, a life in limbo, always yearning for the place where you're not, the electric energy of one, the deep nourishment of the other. I'm missing home, while being home. Weird.

14 comments:

  1. So good to know that you will be traveling to your first home.

    Do you know Allen Say's children's book called Grandfather's Journey? Maybe I've mentioned it before in this context. Your words speak for me. Missing home, while being home.

    Interesting to look at the three planes in your photograph. Flowers and trees. Mountains. Sky.

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  2. That is beautifully said. I am in a weird place - I moved back to my hometown in NC after living in Ohio for almost 20 years. Now, every now & then, I yearn for that lovely flat land with planted with corn & soybeans.

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  3. I think a lot of us do this- live in one place and even if we love it, yearn deeply for another. I suppose it is a natural reflection of the many facets of our souls.

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  4. I think my mum always felt like that, of two places, neither quite home. The tropical vista is so beautiful!

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  5. A beautiful analysis of your feelings. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy your trip back to your first home!

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  6. I think that we were meant to be nomads, wanderers, revisiting our befores, in a cycle until we become too old. I am always homesick, like you, but there we are, at home. Always yearning...

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  7. It's a gift, having two places that are home. You make the most of it so it seems.

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  8. That's an interesting way to look at it. I guess I miss Florida, to some degree -- though I feel like "my" Florida is gone, the state has changed so much since I grew up there. The home I miss is a place AND a time.

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    1. Exactly! So many places I have lived are unrecognizable to me. I miss back then. Now is not so good in so many places.

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  9. You make me wonder why I don't miss my first home. I grew up in New Jersey, the first eighteen years of my life. I don't miss it at all. I fell in love with California when we moved here in 1970. It is my home. When we lived in the Sierra foothills for four years, I missed the ocean. So my home needs to be as close to the sea as I can be. Thank you for writing this.

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  10. I have two homes too, I grew up in Wisconsin and now I live in California, two quite different climates and states. I like the vibrant colors of the tropical flowers and that is great you will travel there later this year.

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  11. Going back to your first home at the end of the year is so wonderful. A beginning for the first of the year as well.

    I think that I feel like I am of two worlds and don't quiet fit in. I lived in Las Vegas for years and I miss it. I was comfortable there. But I have t0 wonder if I would be comfortable here if I still had my drivers license and drove and could actually get out and explore the way I did then.
    I gave up my license when I got sick and moved to Austin. The traffic here is just not something I am comfortable with and isn't that strange considering I practically drove all over the U.S. during that time.

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  12. I've lived in one geographic area my whole life. I think I could settle in to a place like where you were born without too much yearning.

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  13. I don't think that's weird at all. It makes complete sense.

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