I woke up this morning with a hollowness at my center. It finally hit me that my girl will be moving to another city in a week. The world is so in flux. I've been hiding out from my feelings. Next week, our son will help us drive our girl to Boston. Her partner will follow with his mother and sister and the moving truck. I'm going to miss these two lovely young people being just across town. It evening now, but not yet dark. "Dinner's ready," my husband just said. He made his delicious zucchini noodle lasagna. I'm going to eat with him, and then I'm going to climb into bed and pull the covers over my head.
This blew me away.
I still miss my daughter in Vancouver. She and her partner started looking to buy a place. She's not coming back which makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs and love.
Ha! Lily, you just named my fear.
Deleteyeah, it happens. the kids move on. my son and his wife announced the were moving to the PNW, 2,000 miles away! I was so sad, figured I would hardly ever see him again. As it turned out, it didn't work out for them and they were back 4 or 5 months later. but the twin grandgirls, they moved away for college, different schools about an hour apart, both schools about 3 hours away. starting their senior year but neither will be moving back here as they have settled in their new cities. they do facetime and text me often though.
ReplyDeleteAll of my kids but one have moved away, some far away, and then moved back. It's terribly hard when they're gone but I suppose it's part of life. We can't keep them in the nest all of their days. I read that link and I have to say that I'll probably never stop thinking about it, thinking about a small boy being able finally to ride his bike and run and do all the things that small boys should do. Oh, my heart.
ReplyDeleteWell, it will be a big change, but Boston is close by -- and not so different from when she was going to school up in the Hudson Valley. (If I'm remembering correctly?)
ReplyDeleteIt is tough to get used to and yet you feel proud and happy for them. You will set up a new routine of visits, chats, texts. Life goes on and we adjust to the changes and treasure the moments.
ReplyDeleteOur adult children spread their wings and fly. We are always proud of their accomplishments...but the loss is still there when they fly. My son moved to Chicago and I miss him too. Frequent flights were working for regular visits. With the virus it is much harder. Zoom chats are okay. I look forward returning to the frequent flights.
ReplyDeleteWhen we are no longer overwhelmed by a pandemic, travel will be easier and a trip to Boston not so far and daunting. Your hearts will stay connected no matter how far the miles between them. And there are so many ways to stay connected and in touch these days. Love flows between the distance always.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your daughter and the love you have for each other.
ReplyDeleteThat not-yet-dark cityscape is beautiful and melancholy. For me, it's like being there. After the one time I was in New York City in 1982, I dreamed about it repeatedly. I seemed to know my way around
That article you linked to made the hair on my arms stand up. Thank you for that.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard having your girl go to Boston. When my Mom would take me to the airport to go back to college she would sit in the parking lot and cry after the plan departed. Knowing that made me feel awful, and eventually I picked a closer school to their house, and then they moved across the country for my Dad's work. So there you go. Having no kids of my own, I can not comprehend the hole in your heart.
I just read the essay and all I can say is it saddens me that this woman and family has to leave to feel free, that this country is such a scary place for so many of its citizens. that this country, built on the backs of black people, still cannot accept their humanity.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the link to the article. I didn't see the link before.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of why Nina Simone went to live in France.
The hardest feeling in the world is facing the fact your children are growing up, living their own lives, and moving away. When I got over the shock of my 17 year old daughter getting pregnant I realised most of the pain I was feeling was the loss of my daughter. I wasn't ready for her to leave home, have a baby and live her own life. Actually, I still haven't got over it.
ReplyDeleteHolding space for all this, love. It is so much.
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