I’m sad. The world is sad. Another mass shooting in California last night. And this morning the news the my Uncle Al has died, that wonderful man who so championed me, who openly and unabashedly hoped I would be his daughter in law but then fully supported my relationship with the man I would ultimately marry, whom he had known since my husband was a boy. He had been my husband’s family doctor in Antigua, and before that he and my Aunt Myra had become close friends of my parents when he was studying medicine in England and my dad was there studying law. They were part of an expat student community there, young men and women from the many different islands of the Caribbean pursuing medicine and law. Uncle Al and the lovely Myra became parents to two sons and two daughters, including a woman my age who would become like a sister, and who in 1983 would introduce me to my future husband. It was in Uncle Al’s home that I stayed when I visited my husband in Antigua in the years before we were married. Uncle Al talked to us both of love, of growing old together, his wit and wisdom the very definition of sparkling. I have always thought of him as the godfather of my relationship, an example my husband and I could follow into the future, a beacon of how to be. And now he is gone, and it hit me harder than I was expecting, perhaps because I am sad right now about other things too. Strange how sadness and worry can blot out the light, reducing consciousness to a pinprick, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. And yet the last thing you want is to add another layer to anyone else’s portion of pain, and so you must carry the big rock sitting on your chest like the stoic you aren’t, keep doing life somehow, praying that everyone and everything will be healed, comforted, redeemed. This earth life is messy and hard. For the 97 years he was here, Uncle Al made it less so.
Oh, honey. I am so sorry. I am sure that it must feel as if a keystone in the foundation of your life has been removed, leaving everything more perilous, more unstable, less secure. Here's my hand.ReplyDelete
Sorry to hear about the loss of such an important person in your life. And yes, another shooting. I can only surmise that the nation we have become with more guns than people and the mass shootings of strangers is some sort of karmic balancing for all the genocide and cruelty this nation committed.ReplyDelete
I've seen that quote from the Talmud before. It's a good reminder of what we can and cannot do, the burdens we can and cannot bear.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your deeply heartfelt love for him comes through every word here. May his memory be for a blessing.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry sweetie. He sounds like a very good man and god knows the world is often short of those. Grief does that, compounds itself, sometimes, one thing piled on top of another, making things unbearable. Sending you hugs and love.ReplyDelete
I am sorry. You wrote beautifully of your Uncle Al.ReplyDelete
I am sorry for the loss of your Uncle Al. I am glad you have such fond memories of him to bring you comfort during this sad time.ReplyDelete
Your grief is sacred. The world's grief is sacred. Sending love always.ReplyDelete
"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."
(Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.)
I'm so sorry about your uncle. What wonderful memories you have of his character and the support he gave you in your own life.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry about the loss of your uncle. He was truly a force for good in your life.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry for your loss, my friend. Grief upon grief - yes, it does add up and yes, it is like a huge rock. It gets harder and harder to be "the stoic you aren't". I like the words you quoted. We must try, but we don't have to fix it all. Wisdom there. Wishing you strength.ReplyDelete
That was me, jennyDelete
((((hug))))) Off he goes to another land , welcomed by those waiting for him to show up. You have been fortunate in this life, so many good folks loving you.ReplyDelete
Im so very sorry for your loss. What you said about sadness and worry blocking the light is so true. I hope your light shines brightly again soon.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that your sadness passes or blends in fully with all the love you have. As for the world, I have nothing to say.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry for your loss. Uncle Al sounds like a very special person.ReplyDelete