Monday, April 9, 2012

True South

A few weeks ago, I overheard my niece and my daughter talking. My niece said, "Isn't it time for Grandma to go back to St. Lucia? She always gets stronger in St. Lucia." Her Grandma did fly home to St. Lucia this past weekend. She traveled with one of her daughters of the heart, my niece's beautiful mother. All those in St. Lucia who love my mom were shocked to see how much more frail she is than the last time she was there. On the phone to me, she said, "I am just realizing how helpless I am. I can see it in everyone's eyes." Being old and unable to make your body obey, remembering being young and able to move without thought, must be the hardest thing. But my mom has good neighbors and friends and heart daughters and sons in St. Lucia. That's how she rolls.


  1. My husband and I were talking about aging yesterday and we both agreed that it just really doesn't look like much fun. In fact, it looks awful.
    I'm glad your mother has such love around her. That must make it all at least more bearable.

  2. I'm glad she was able to go to her true home.

  3. I can see so much strength in her expression. Wonderful, poignant photo.

    All my sisterly love to you and your mother, dear Angella.

  4. My own mother is experiencing an incredible downturn with excruciating back pain that there is apparently nothing to do about -- my father has heroically taken on her care, but we all live so far away from them that it makes it really difficult. Your mother, despite her frailty, looks like she has a steely strength -- at least in her photos!

  5. I hear this so much. I never know what to say. The people I care for are so frustrated by failing bodies and failing minds. They remember being young like it was yesterday and now all of a sudden (did it happen overnight) they are old. All of a sudden they need help with housework and their car is taken away. All of a sudden they are living in assisted living with "old people".
    At the same time. "old" people have so much to give. They are wise, they have been around and seen it all. We need them to teach and guide us. We need them to love our children. We need their patience and steadiness.

  6. she sounds a lot like my grandma. she's there, and as long as she can put on a smile...she's doing a lot better than many of us

  7. Ms Moon, i've been thinking the same thing. I think the key is community, having loved ones around us as we age.

    Kristin, she's glad too. Now what, I wonder? She's been talking a lot about dying. But she also thinks God will take her at the right time, so...

    ellen, she is strong. this picture was actually taken last year. Her expression would be the same, but you would be able to see the decline from just one year ago. thanks for the love.

    elizabeth, i hope you dad takes care of himself too. caregivers often neglect themselves, but you probably know that better than anyone. my mom looks strong in the photographs i choose to put up. in some of them, she looks achingly frail. those ones make me cry.

    Birdie, you are so right. My mom is wise beyond her years. and she's 90!

    Candice, her spirit is indomitable, it is true. thank you!

    Lisa, thank you, dear friend.

  8. What a beautiful woman, I can see why she is so loved. I can almost remember something I never had, reading here.


  9. I'm so glad she was able to go back. She looks great in the photo! It must be SO strange to feel your own body diminishing. I suppose we'll all know soon enough. :/

  10. Getting older. It is tough. I really wish that we didn't feel we had to apologize for it. Already at 48 I feel like I have to be ashamed of the signs of aging.

    Hopefully we will all have the blessing of a long, happy life filled with love and meaning. I am glad our mom is back in St. Lucia where she thrive but I bet you miss her. (I like the term "heart daughters". Is that your own invention? I never heard/read that before.)

  11. she looks lovely in the portrait.