Friday, March 29, 2013

1,000th Post

So I made it. One thousand posts. More words written in this one place than maybe two or three books combined. Some days I thought I would close down this blog and go quietly away. I felt revealed. I felt shy. Some days I felt the weight of all the words here, all the life that tumbled through them for good and ill, and I wanted to just start anew. But I kept on going, you kept me going, this gathering of souls that feels like home, whose aches I wish fervently away, whose words astound, inspire, provoke and ransack my heart, and whose brilliance makes my eyes water.

In five years of writing this blog, I have often glimpsed the absurdity of private catharsis on this most public of stages, and yet still I continued to write what I had not yet shared with my own kin, in part because I could not untangle the threads until I wrote them here. Sometimes, it felt as if I was holding myself together with those unspooling lines of black type. I also wrote about my son and my daughter, wanting to create a record for them, wanting to hold the moments captured in photograps, in their eyes, remembering the long-ago psychic who told me they would know me better than I could imagine. I wanted that to be true. I told myself that strangers who happened by would not care. I had no idea that in time those strangers would become friends who could not be more real to me if I wrapped them in my arms and never let them go.

There is a word, seven rows up in the center column of that list. Thankful. I have had the occasion to use that word quite often of late. I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for my community of souls. I am thankful for you. I am thankful.


  1. I immediately looked for my favorite under-used word there in that list- the one I think applies to you and this blog of yours- and it is not there.
    It is splendid.
    You are splendid.
    And you are beloved.
    I am SO glad you did not give up. I am SO glad we meet here together. Thank you for all these words.

  2. you never know how many people you touch and can relate to your own (very personal) words.

  3. hullabaloo,discombobulate, delightful....all favorites. Thanks for the list and thanks for sticking around and sharing your own sweet, generous and resplendent self to the world.

  4. Congratulations! I feel so connected to you--especially since this week was my 1000th post, too. :)

  5. Dear friend, thank you, for such a touching and true post. I write and doubt and am astounded for all the same reasons that you so eloquently typed here. Congratulations on this accomplishment, and know that words can't explain how grateful I am for this community, these friendships and for that list of words that makes me so happy. For some reason audacity popped out at me. I'm grateful for the audacity we share here, because it is so very bold and courageous to write openly and honestly and fling it out into the world, to be seen, truly.

  6. A lot of other people are thankful, too. Grateful, as well.

  7. Big congratulations and well done! 1000 posts is no small undertaking especially when you share so much of your heart. Thanks for your courage and willingness to continue even when you were not sure you wanted to go on writing here.

    I'm glad I found my way to your blog even if it was fairly recently.

  8. you,
    dear angella,
    are the resplendent queen of this great (in size) realm,
    and may it ever be so.
    we remain enthralled.
    let the delightful hullabaloo
    (i'll bring the pie...)

  9. Congratulations.

    (And isn't 'gumption' a lovely word?

  10. And I am thankful for you and all you have shared with us! Congratulations, 1000 posts is an amazing accomplishment.

  11. I for one am so glad you have kept writing. Looking forward to post 2000. xo

  12. Congratulations and here is to the next 1,000. I enjoy visiting here. S. Jo

  13. Hooray for 1,000 posts! It IS amazing how they add up. It's been a pleasure to get to know you and your family here, and it feels so natural to check in with you regularly now. Thanks for becoming part of my life, Angella!

  14. I am so thankful for you, Angella. Your presence is like a calm in the storm.

  15. I am so glad you keep coming back.