On this day in 1949, my parents were joined in matrimony. They had a wonderful partnership, which lasted forty-seven years, till my father died in 1996. They had their challenges, of course; I witnessed them from the inside. But they met them squarely, and love endured. I pray they're looking down on my two, my son almost two years married now, and my daughter making the commitment in just a few weeks. I'm thinking a lot about marriage today, how even the charmed ones are wildly imperfect, and no one other than the couple knows what happens between two people who pledge to walk through this earthly life in tandem. I imagine there has to be some indefinable magic, a sustaining friendship, and maybe also a lot of luck. Love is primary, yes, but you have to keep choosing it. I suspect it helps to start with people of bedrock good character, stubborn faith, emotional resilience, and a liberal sprinkling of beneficial karma, too.
These two lovely couples are getting married in July, one at the start of the month and the other at the end. And last night, we got news of a third member of my daughter's cohort group who is planning to tie the knot at City Hall at mid-month. Three weddings of kids who started out together, all in a cluster. Tell me, friends, what bit of wisdom would you share with these couples standing of threshold of saying "I do"?
True love lasts a lifetime and probably beyond.
ReplyDeleteWhen I see photos of those who made lasting marriages, I'm in awe. The love between your parents goes deep. That profoundly moving photo shows the roots of a good marriage. Thank you so much for posting your parents' wedding photo today.
Speaking as someone who is about to have been married for forty years and who is still very much in love, the only real advice I have is to make sure you're marrying the right person. I think you are exactly right about how being of bedrock good character is essential. And especially- don't marry a liar.
ReplyDeleteI think that good luck has a lot to do with all of it. But every marriage will have tough times. Love each other through them if you can.
My advise is: There will be great times and bumpy times but work mutually toward resolution. Life is complicated, be prepared to work through issues. Compromise is also a good skill. Many of my friends started out very much in love but were quick to divorce in a difficult situation.
ReplyDeleteYour children also have you and your husband to look to, for an example of a lasting relationship.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any useful advice sadly. Here we go, I thought of something, Don't smother him in his sleep:)
And that's why I should not give advice.
Be kind to each other. That's it; that's all.
ReplyDeleteWhat a loving look between your parents in that beautiful photo.
My wife and I have what I call "legally separate TVs" haha.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, marriage can wither without laughter, without listening, without compassion, without respect. Pay attention to each other, because that's what love is.
I love that photo of your parents. How beautiful they are and their love is shining!
ReplyDeleteAs a divorced person, I have no good advice. But I wish your young people much happiness and love!
my mantra through the hard times was 'this is only temporary'. my other advice to couples getting married is 'stop looking for someone better'.
ReplyDeleteHonesty, always honesty and patience. Accept that neither of you is flawless.
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