She used to call me every morning, but now she doesn't have the strength in her fingers to press the keys, so she sits in her chair and waits for me to call, and when a day passes that I don't call, I feel horribly guilty, but when I do call lately, the conversation is difficult, she can't catch what I say, I can't hear what she says, and when I put down the phone I feel ineffably sad. I'm aware that time may be getting shorter even as I pray this latest decline is born of grieving her big sister, and she will rally.
I know I am one of the lucky ones. She has been a wonderful mother to us and grandmother to my children. And I still have her here. That's why I am going to visit her in Jamaica later this month, even though I just got back from St. Lucia where I was taking care of her business while my daughter and her friends did the beach thing for their spring break. She used to be the frequent flyer, jetting around the Caribbean with her bionic knees, traveling to New York, Florida, Toronto, Vancouver to see her large extended family. Now she is so frail she could not make the trip last weekend to memorialize her beloved sister, and that has sent her spiraling down. I hope I can cheer her up. I'll have to be the frequent flyer now.