The truth? The truth is a raging monster is casting a huge shadow on my doorstep but I effing refuse to open the door. What reason on earth do I have to be fighting back tears? A dishwasher put in crooked, glaringly misaligned, and no one but me can see? Please. This is not what most people would call a problem. Granted, most people aren't OCD. Then again, most people don't even have dishwashers. Some people have real problems.
Some days I feel as if I am on a strumming tightrope, and balance is a fragile and iffy thing.
On a brighter note, the girls have gone shopping. They left out of here skipping chirping laughing happy. I'm going to try to be more like them. We are going to a concert tonight. Just us three chickadees. Yes.
Are we the same person?? I GET IT!
ReplyDeleteAs you know, it will pass. Just ride it like a surfer chick and laugh later when the dishwasher is no longer crooked.
The misaligned dishwasher is emblematic of forces beyond your control. Family members are passing on, the children are leaving the nest ... You tell me to shut up now whenever you've heard enough ... I know I hate it when somebody takes this tack with me. Hmm, think I'll shut up on my own. But if all else fails, just kick the damn dishwasher. But be sure and give it a donkey kick - that's kicking it from behind. Your behind, that is, not the dishwasher's. If you kick it from your front, you'll probably break a toe or two. That's what happened to me when I was putting together our old entertainment center and the parts wouldn't line up just right. You don't want a broken toe. Trust me on that one.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should have joined the girls and bought yourself a little happy?! You know, I am like you I think because the dishwasher would bother me too until I finally couldn't talk myself out of it anymore and it would have to be corrected. I'm sure that doesn't help but I understand.
ReplyDeleteI think Glenn M has some excellent insight on the subject here.
ReplyDeleteYou have every reason to cry.
I lived with cabinets that were installed centimeters off for two years. Finally, we sold the house but I still think about those damn crooked cabinets.
ReplyDeletem.
That dishwasher would piss me off to extravagant extremes because I am mechanically handy and when I see something that should be aligned is sloppy it just doesn't sit right with me. Seriously it would make me crazy. I am not a very good housekeeper but I polish the chrome on my french press because it is such a g.d. wonder of engineering. Like that. Rage on. It's your turn.
ReplyDeletelove,
Rebecca
Are you really OCD? My cousin whom I stayed with in England is labelled OCD by the rest of the family and to tell the truth I really admired her ways, it felt so zen to me, the care she took with things, I keep telling myself that I should emulate that a little bit.
ReplyDeleteAnd as others have said, you don't have to be obsessive to be totally annoyed about a dishwasher set in crooked. That's just wrong. Grrr.
xo
And oh that concert with you three chickadees sounds like total fun. Enjoy - what are you going to ?
ReplyDeleteJust have a good time. That's all.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could hold hands as we walked this tightrope.
ReplyDeleteHere, I've got you.
We all have a 'truth' that we know rages inside us. It is how we manage to function - less or more - when we squash that truth down into its basement of hell. All of us.
ReplyDeleteYou and your family have been through a lot lately. I'm sure your frustration has more to do with that than the dishwasher. In any case, I hope you enjoyed your "chickadee" time. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, we are the same person, my dishwasher is crooked too, and it really drives me crazy. I've been having a lot of those "this is the last straw" moments lately, and I sobbed when I saw ants on the kitchen counter last week.
ReplyDeleteHope the concert was fun and you are feeling better now.
how was the concert?? there's nothing like great music to put you in a better mood.
ReplyDeleteAh, but it is not about the dishwasher or misaligned cabinets or ants on the counter. The world spins around all crooked on its axis and none of us give a shit. It is just this life. Everything in life is just so fucking difficult. Everything.
ReplyDeleteI will say I think times are going to change. The world is not going to end in 2012 but it is going to start going the way it needs to. We will be able to start focusing more on loving ourselves and each other. Peace, love and harmony.
you all cannot imagine how much your comments have done to help me keep my grip on sanity. i was LOSING it, y'all. paradoxically, having my reality affirmed instead of denied is all it takes for me to stay in touch with said reality. yes, that misaligned appliances makes me mad. but as some of you have said, it is merely a symptom of something deeper. i will get the alignment fixed. and i will tend to the something deeper, too. thank you.
ReplyDeleteNOLA, maybe we are the same person, twin souls experiencing this planet from opposite ends. who knows?
Glenn, you can ALWAYS take that tack with me. You speak so true.
Gary, it really does help actually.
Ms. Moon, a good cry can sometimes be just the ticket back to, well, you know.
Mark, left wing, right wing, we are more alike than not!
Rebecca, rage on!!! my mantra today. yess! God, i love the thought of you polishing that piece of engineering wonder.
Deirdre, undiagnosed. but yes. my whole family knows it. we went to see the band of one of my daughter's friends, called The Tension. They are awe-inspiring. i hope they get signed!
Expat mom, i did indeed. and then the girls and I went to dinner and we laughed and laughed.
Elizabeth, i read your archived post earlier and tried to comment but it didn't go through. we were both on that tightrope today, or maybe the trapeeze. let's hang on tight, both of us and feel the breeze.
Isabel, squashing the truth down can be its own recipe for hell, for sure.
Steve,i always try not to add up the hard things, but you're right, it feels like a lot lately. the dishwasher in this equation is merely a straw.
ellen, i would have sobbed too. it must have felt like just one more thing to take care of in a life already chock full of things to take care of. hopefully the tears washed away some debris and created some breathing space. hugs.
Candice, it did put me in a better mood. i saw many of my friends, and also my daughter and my niece were great traveling companions!
Birdie, i love that notion. i'm ready for some peace and harmony. it's nice to see you in my neighborhood. i hope you come again.