Wednesday, December 28, 2011

"Those are all my siblings, right there."

We took the photo immediately below two summers ago, on the day we delivered our girl to her camp counselor job, which had been secured for her by her brother. This was my daughter's profile pic on Facebook for weeks afterwards. Our son was supposed to be in the picture too, but then his phone rang, and he jumped out of the photo to answer it and I just kept snapping. At a certain point he looked back and saw the three people sitting there, and he paused in his phone conversation to call out, "Those are all my siblings, right there." It's true. These boys are his brothers, and they are in my house right now. I do enjoy it when they are all home from college and they converge here. It's like my daughter has three big brothers, because I know each one of these boys will take care of her. And they'll take care of each other, too.

As long as I'm sharing photos swiped from Facebook, here is one that showed up on my son's page this morning, posted by his college roommate from last year. This is his friend's family dog, with whom my son clearly has a warm relationship. I probably should have gotten that boy a dog when he was growing up. And isn't that a beautiful dog too.

A vedic once told me that as a parent I should not worry, that if my children needed anything that I failed to provide, another soul would step up and provide it. He insisted that it is always thus, it's the way life works, and I should allow this bit of wisdom to liberate me of all worry. Well, liberating me of all worry might have been a touch ambitious, but it does indeed seem that the canine companions have been provided in my son's life. And siblings galore.


  1. I love that vedic comment. I love it.

  2. Your photos are always are you words...

    But I HAVE to give a shout out to that dog. That is a Bernese Mountain Dog and I have one drooling on my foot right now.

    Best. Dogs. Ever.

    Like a Canine Sibling to Your Soul.

  3. " A vedic once told me that as a parent I should not worry, that if my children needed anything that I failed to provide, another soul would step up and provide it. He insisted that it is always thus, it's the way life works, and I should allow this bit of wisdom to liberate me of all worry. "

    I love this part of your post and I'll try to remember it the next time I worry about what I didn't do or provide (no siblings for example) when my daughter was growing up. I'm committed to letting go of guilt in 2012 and this is a comforting thought.

  4. Yes. That is such beautiful advice. I wonder if it's true. I surely would love to believe it.

  5. elizabeth, i pull that idea around myself like a warm blanket sometimes! love.

    omgrrrl, lucky girl! i think if i had run into that dog, my children would have had a dog, even in our small apartment!

    giftsofthejourney, letting go of guilt is a brilliant resolution. imagine how much energy will flow into its place. your girl will have siblings aplenty, if that's what she desires. this, i do believe. hugs.

    maria luna (how i love calling you that), i do wonder if it is true too. i hope it is, but of course that would mean accepting that some people's life journey is drug addiction and other challenges too. it's not really a completely benign idea if you look deep into it. on the other hand, perspective is everything. and individual and soul choice also comes into it, too, right? but that is way too philosophical for me this morning! how's cozumel?!

  6. Great advice! And very true and proven true over and over. Can I copy it to my facebook wall?
    First the dog and your son: they really do seem to have a connection. A man who loves dog, well it says a lot about him. I already knew your son had greatness in him, but this pic just added kindness.
    And your children are both lucky to have an extra pair of siblings, and those two men are also lucky to have a bonus home and parents to come home to.
    Having a bonus homes and bonus siblings (and cousins) is what saved me. I'll never cherish them enough.

  7. Oh, such great advice! You know, I've said before: if I'd known family could be like yours, I wouldn't have spent decades running away from it. And now that I understand that I don't have to be perfect and complete to parent, maybe I don't have to keep avoiding that.

  8. Miss A, you look out on the world with the most generous eyes, and my wish for you in 2012 is that the world gives that back to you in spades. You are a pure heart, and I am so happy to know you. Love.

  9. NOLA, perfect and complete! my god, i dont think there is a parent alive who is that! i have even come to believe that the quirks and failings of (well-intentioned) parents can make for some interesting humans! love is all that is needed really. well, not all, but that is really most of it, because it brings a whole lot of try with it. that said, i am following your great adventures. there are so many thrilling ways to use a life and you are certainly using yours thrillingly! love to you, friend.

  10. You ARE living my life. My girl has three brothers too. How does this keep happening??? ha!
    Love the last photo. But between you and me, your son's girlfriend is a dog.

  11. I too love that comment from the vedic and if my own life is any example, those words have been true for me. My rabbi often talks to people about accepting the children they have rather than the children they want. The world would be such a different a place if this could be done. You have a beautiful family. I wish you all the best in the year ahead.

  12. Mark, you are so naughty. but i have to admit i laughed out loud and then couldnt explain to my family why i was laughing my head off. actually, my boy is off to visit his actual girlfriend, on a plane to england as we speak, and she is lovely.

    e, that is so profound. it particularly resonates during this whole college search. like so many families, i'm trying not to get caught up in how a college name sounds in my mouth when i say it, so that my girl can choose the exact right college for herself, without needing to impress a soul. i wouldnt want any other children anyway. thanks for sharing your rabbi's wisdom. love.

  13. That vedic idea is a gorgeous one. I will hold on to that. Happy New Year!