I actually have lots to write but no time to write it because every spare moment is being spent on meeting this crazy short timeline for this crazy big and amorphous project that I have had to create an outline for, and I fear I was overambitious in what I promised, and they loved the outline and so now I have to deliver. Every single moment from now until I turn in the whole thing on March 10 is accounted for. I have so many interviews still to do, tapes to transcribe, sections to write, experts to follow up with, and whenever I fear I have bitten off more than I can chew I make myself look at the post-its that my cousin Helen made me put around my room—"I am the perfect person for this job" and "Everything I need comes to me at the moment I need it" and "I am committed" and "I don't know how I will but I know I will because I always do"—and you know what, it helps!
My husband is in the kitchen making two big pots of seafood gumbo for a Mardi Gras jamboree tonight at the little activist church where he is the warden, and he is doing great service, humbly and patiently, chopping and stirring, Premiere League Soccer on the TV, and he just told me that each pot works out to about one hundred dollars in ingredients and I find that astonishing but that is the cost of living in New York City.
My son left yesterday to travel to Ithaca with his team for a regional track meet, and he's staying on for a few days since he went to school in that town and has friends still there. His sister is also there. She texted me yesterday from a Top Chef type competition at her school at which she had signed up to be a judge, and she said, "Mama these are the times I realize what a good choice I made." Ithaca is such a great college town, despite the below freezing temperatures and feet and feet of snow. How lucky that both my kids got to attend and enjoy school there. My niece, too, who always said, "Ithaca is most beautiful on the day you are leaving it, and you always want to return."
Anyway, got to get back to work. I miss my usual immersion in blog world and spending time with all of you, but I'll be back soon enough. The pictures of my kids are just because.
I am glad you took a moment out of your life to check in because, well, you know- we miss you. Isn't it funny how woven together so many of us are? Silences can be worrisome, even when we know there is a good reason. It's like part of the tribe has gone missing.
ReplyDeleteYou are rocking that project. I am certain of it.
Hey! I've been missing you :) I've been busy too, but not like you!! Good luck with your project, you are the perfect person for that job. Thanks for such lovely pictures and images of your husband and daughter cooking.
ReplyDeleteTell us all about it when you come up for air in a few weeks.
xo
xoxoxox to you and that gorgeous young man and woman!
ReplyDeleteAngella, this is the story of my life lately: writing deadlines. And I ask myself, what was I thinking. A great writer once said, "I hate writing. I love having written." This is so true. And Cousin Helen has given you some excellent advice. I think I'll take her up on it.
ReplyDeleteIf you are like me you work best when the pressure is on and you aren't quite sure if you'll pull it off. I think you must be like me because in those times I also find time to do so much more. You posting here is an example.
ReplyDeleteI also understand your point about writing a great outline that you must then produce. When I was writing the proposal for my dissertation I had to remind myself that I needed to keep things to the "do-able" category and not the "wouldn't it be nice if..." category that delays graduation even more.
Enjoy the immersion!
I am sure you ARE the perfect person for that job! And yes, Ithaca is a fantastic place. I could live there easily.
ReplyDeleteIt's sort of like throwing a wedding. It always seems it can't possibly come together in time, but then it does. It always does. I am wishing you strength to finish your journey, and then some solid respite at the end.
ReplyDeleteThat thing of projects hanging over you, even when you're industriously working, is one that I can relate to. Good luck finishing. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteGood luck old Friend! And I love seeing your kids too, just because.
ReplyDeletem.