Thursday, September 20, 2018

Bench therapy

My daughter and I went to vote in the evening a week ago, and then we walked around the gardens and sat on a bench, chatting with neighbors who stopped to talk before continuing on. And then my girl said she needed some bench therapy, and she told me about a situation at work, where she made a mistake and told her boss about it, despite the fact that no one might ever have known. It worked out well for her, and I applauded her integrity, even though she was still feeling shaky over the whole thing. 

And then there was a situation with a friend, a girl she has loved dearly since they were four years old. As she told me her concern, it had the whiff of an anxious mind making up stories. I know intimately how that works, so I suggested she just text her friend and say she misses her and could they get together soon. She did, sure the friend would not respond because she was angry at her. But in fact, her friend responded within a minute, said she missed her, too, and yes let's make a plan. My daughter said, Oh, maybe, she was just busy because she started a new job this week. You think? I said. Do you feel better now? I said. No, my daughter grumbled with a mischievous side eye, because it means you were right. I'm always right, I said, and we both laughed, as we do. And then I apologized for passing on to her that overactive, endlessly spinning, storymaking mind.

That's my girl with her most recent foster dog, Wally. He got adopted in the first week. This is what she wrote for him on the adoption website. That's marketing copy, I told her. That's Wally boy, she replied. I love his big round anime eyes.


  1. Oh that "overactive, endlessly spinning, storymaking mind..." I think we might be related! I'm glad it worked out for your daughter and her friend, and the sweet pup who got adopted.

  2. Such a brilliant ad for Wally, I would trip all over myself to get to that dog! Your beautiful daughter is a chip off the block, is she not! Integrity and deep caring/understanding. I just love your family, you are as humans were intended.

  3. Isn't it funny how there are some things we are so glad to pass on to our children and some things we would give the moon not to?
    "...his little long bod..."
    So perfect!

  4. always best just to ask or confront the person instead of making up stories in your mind. next to me is a vacant lot with storage buildings at the back and sometimes we cut through it to get into our driveway when the contractor has our driveway blocked. the next day after I did that when the owner was there a long trailer was moved next to our driveway blocking where I had pulled through. my husband assumed it was because she saw me pull through so I texted her about it. turns out she asked her son to move it so she could better get into one of the storage buildings and he just happened to park it there. had nothing to do with me driving across the vacant lot.

  5. Your daughter has the gift of the gab! A great writer..... I would adopt that boy, and I don't even like dachshunds!

  6. It's wonderful when our children trust us enough to share their problems with us. I tend to make up stories in my anxious mind as well:)

    And Wally, what a cutie. I'm glad he was adopted. I do love a hound.

  7. You are so fortunate to have a daughter who is comfortable talking to you about those things. And she is so fortunate to have you to talk to :)

    That is a seriously cute doggo, and a great write up.

  8. That is one hot diggity dog. His eyes tell a million stories.

    We all have done what your daughter did in jumping to conclusions. She just has a huge heart and they are the ones that get hurt the easiest.

  9. "Bench therapy" -- I love it! I've worked myself into those overactive-imagination narratives from time to time, too. I guess it's just human nature. Bravo for Wally and his new family!