Sunday, May 31, 2020

Uncharted

Does everyone get it yet, why Colin Kaepernick blew up his whole NFL career to take a knee in protest of police officers killing black folks? Everything feels so heavy, and yet so surreal I could float clear away. This morning, as I was catching up on the news, my throat felt tight from the many stories of excessive use of police force against protesters across the country last night. My husband came into the kitchen, stood watching for a minute, then said, “You know, I wonder sometimes if we were right to bring children into this world.” I looked at him, and saw he was being serious, and then tears brimmed for both of us, because of course we would not want a life without our breathtakingly loved children, but what kind of world have we given them? Here are some thoughts from a few smart people I follow on Twitter, because really, I have no good words.







17 comments:

  1. the rate destruction Trump and the Republicans embarked on when he got in office has escalated because they fear the coming election in November. what I don't understand is why they think a civil/race war will benefit anyone, most especially themselves. are they so far gone that if they can't be in power, no one can? everything is so tenuous now.

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  2. I also have no words, only tears and fear. I don't know who we are anymore. We are broken, so very broken.

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  3. Oh honey. It's all so damn scary. It's all so fucking fucked up.

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  4. As a parent I understand the question your husband asked. But since you can't unmake the choice to have your beautiful children, remember this: your children are on the side of good in the world. They are part of the army of good people who balance out the corrupt and uncaring. Without good people the world is lost.

    I don't pretend to know how it is to live with dark skin but I can imagine at least some of it. And I have eyes to see what's been done and what is being done, and who is doing it. I hate that good people seem to be losing right now. Please know my heart is with you.

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  5. Our parents and grandparents and great grandparents could have said the same thing. We can only hope and work in what ways we can so that our children and their children will survive this horrific period. As our ancestors did during the horrific periods in the past. Si se puede

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  6. I have no words for this fuckery. I'm sending you hugs in love which is nothing but it's all I have right now.

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  7. Kristin said everything I wanted to say. Si se puede.

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  8. the pile gets higher and more foul every moment, accelerated - weeping has become an all day thing for me, one who rarely weeps, George's murder has crushed us -his dying words can never be unheard, searing our hearts like a hot poker of despair, my god!
    I apologized to my son all of the time- but the kids are cool , you know, they have grown up with trauma of the times and seem to be able to see around corners. They will be more than OK, they are heroic.

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  9. Yesterday, at the start of a national league soccer match that was shown live on German TV, one of the players took a knee like Kaepernick and the stadium went silent for a minute. The media reaction was: No explanation necessary, we are with you.

    We are with you.

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  10. I have no words. My heart is broken and I can only say that the tweets are saying things better than I can. It is like another time and another country.
    I had tears as well when I read your husbands words. I have 3 chidren, 2 sons and a daughter who refuse to bring children into our world. It makes my heart hurt because of the love that they will miss but at the same time I cannot argue with their logic.
    I am so sorry what is happening day in and day out. Love my friend. xxxx

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  11. Sabine's comment took my breath away. It is a revolution. It's just impossible to write about it.

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  12. I understood Kaepernick's kneeling when he began it -- but sure, I definitely get it now, too. I must say, there are many, many days when I think to myself, "Thank God I don't have children." I'm sure I've missed out on a lot, and I still worry about the state of the world and the future -- but I think my personal burden is much lighter than that of many people. For better or worse.

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  13. these times are dark, indeed. I hold onto the notion that out of crisis can come opportunity, and I hope when we come through these terrible troubles we will emerge better, stronger, more compassionate. And then I see a video of an cop arresting a protestor, using the same knee on the neck that killed Mr. Floyd. Others yelled at him to get his knee off the neck, and he actually complied. And then I see cops taking a knee, and I cry.

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  14. You always have good words. And I thank you for continuing to share them with us. My heart is heavy, I am exhausted. I look at sweet sweet daughter and wonder, like you and your husband, if we should have had her. What type of world, what type of hatred, am I exposing her to just by virtue of the color of her skin. The rage I feel is frightening and unfamiliar to me, I do not want to own it, but it is mine, and I shall work my way through it.

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  15. I am just horrified by the whole thing.

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  16. Sending love from England....don't know what else to say. It has been all said above, except that I hope that your son stays safe....he must have to get involved with everything that is going on! XX

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  17. What Sabine said made me cry. Crying for a good reason instead of the deep despair I feel for this country.
    Xoxo
    Barbara

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