Thursday, August 13, 2020

Hauling ourselves into the sun

My daughter's friend Tiffany did this portrait of my girl and her pup. In addition to being a very fine artist (she's on Insta at @made.ineden), Tiffany is a working engineer who's starting at Harvard Medical School studying bioinformatics this fall—clearly an abundantly gifted woman with full access to both hemispheres of her brain. I love the joy she captured in my daughter. 

I'm an emotional mess today. Crying over everything. I called my old therapist who several years ago moved to a different state. It occurred to me that she must be doing phone and Zoom therapy now, like every other therapist in the covid era, so maybe it's time to get back on her roster. Everything feels welled up inside me and now it's spilling over. I feel so raw, so without protection. We've endured so much as a nation these past three years. We try to be stoic and carry on, but the endless slings and arrows and body blows take a toll. 
 
My friend Brittany posted this from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo today: "For those of us who have suffered, who hauled ourselves into the sun, anything exhausted beside us is family." I'm exhausted, y'all. But I am among family.




17 comments:

  1. A virtual hug being sent to ease the ache that space in between us and our love ones makes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I looked up and around after reading your post, I saw a hummingbird going from flower to flower in the sunlight on the Crocosmia on my porch and thought the spirit of that hummingbird must be for you and all of us who are exhausted on this mid-August day but not alone.

    Love the beautiful portrait of your daughter with her pup. Your daughter's artist friend clearly sees that your daughter is a cause for joy and celebration.

    ReplyDelete
  3. that art work is perfect, perfect, i tell you! Utter joy and the pooch is so pleased, like he won the lottery, which he did!
    crying over everything and just ...crying. YEP. It is getting more obvious that we are worn. I need a pill.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Exactly. So exhausted. I swear that this time of laying low and letting my ribs heal has mostly just felt like an extension of everything that's happened since you-know-who got elected. Or didn't get elected. Or whatever.
    I'm glad you're reaching out to your therapist. We could ALL benefit from someone wise to talk to.
    That portrait of your daughter is absolutely perfect. What a talented artist. What a beautiful girl.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The artwork is so beautiful. Such a happy uplifting moment.
    Sadness abounds these days. It is hard to make sense of the world anymore. I'm glad you called your therapist. It's good to talk to someone who knows the suffering.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm glad you're reaching out for some help. These are truly times that try peoples' souls. Every day it just gets worse, every day I think we've hit bottom, and every day we haven't. Stout heart.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the portrait of your daughter! A talented artist indeed.
    I don't love that you're having a difficult time but I'm glad you've reached out for help. I think many of us are up and down and up and down with this virus thing, and on top of that you are now facing your daughter moving. That's going to exacerbate everything else you're feeling. Take heart, dear friend. It is part of life, even though not a part we have to like. Hugs from afar.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm feeling exhausted too.

    Sending hugs and love.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Big virtual hug coming to you across the Atlantic. You have done the most important thing already, you reached out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a great happy portrait, just makes me smile! We are living in very difficult times and it’s hard not to let it get emotionally overwhelmed with everything. I hope things change for the better sooner than later so we can all start feeling better. I hope you can get in touch talk things out with the Therapist. Feel better!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love that picture of your daughter - such joy! These ARE exhausting times but we will not give up. Good that you are reaching out for help. We all need to keep helping each other. Stay safe.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a beautiful picture of your daughter!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very beautiful portrait by an exceptionally talented woman. Such a nice, thoughtful gift. I agree, feeling exhausted due to the current circumstances is reality. You are not alone. So much is out of our control. Making things harder. A zoom meeting will be helpful.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow, that's an amazing and beautiful portrait! What a talented (and clearly brilliant) artist. I know what you mean about feeling raw. This is a challenging time for so many of us, confronting anxieties and frustrations we never expected. (Not to mention pre-election anxieties!) Good for you for making that call. I hope it helps.

    ReplyDelete
  15. what a fabulous portrait of your daughter.

    yes, weary, exhausted and still four months of fighting to go.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Love the illustration, so full of life and joy.

    These are tough times, I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope the counselling
    helps.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Now I can picture our spirits, on some other plane, laying next to each other on a rock by the sea, in the sun. I've been crying at every little thing, too. So much grief is coming up in all this. It's good to know I'm not alone in that. xxoo.

    ReplyDelete