Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Starting fresh

I've just finished a project I've been working on since June and it turned out really well. I am trying to remember that at the start of that project, I had no idea how to proceed, or even, truly, what was required but somehow I figured it out. I am trying to remember this because yesterday I started on a new project, and I am once again staring at the blank white screen wondering how I will ever get this done. Today, I wrote exactly four lines. I once again feel as if I am in over my head, but the truth is, this is how I have felt on every project I have undertaken since separating from my cushy (in terms of a regular paycheck) magazine staff job a year ago this week.

I remember as I freaked out over the first huge assignment I managed to get as a freelancer last winter, my cousin who is a life coach counseled me to write on a post-it, I don't know how I will, but I know I will, and post it in a prominent place where my eyes would fall on it several times a day. And that is how I feel right now. I have no idea how I will climb this new mountain, I only know that I've placed my feet, and by the due date I will be standing on the top of it, hollering with relief and elation at being done!


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10 comments:

  1. Ms. MoonSeptember 9, 2014 at 6:02 PM

    Yes you will, yes you will, yes you WILL! And it will be another great joy.

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    1. 37paddingtonSeptember 10, 2014 at 10:08 AM

      Darling Mary, I feel your good thoughts, and yes indeed I will! Hugs.

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  2. ElizabethSeptember 10, 2014 at 12:40 AM

    I imagine that's the hardest part of being a free-lancer or private contractor -- the newness happening over and over again. You WILL do it, though.

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    1. 37paddingtonSeptember 10, 2014 at 10:09 AM

      Elizabeth, it helps when you're in that place of not knowing how to remember that you've stood in this place before. I'm also trying to shift my thinking about it and see the "always new" as possibly a good thing. Not there yet, but angling for it!

      Delete
  3. Steve ReedSeptember 10, 2014 at 6:28 AM

    I remember starting a lot of assignments that way. The life of a journalist!

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    1. 37paddingtonSeptember 10, 2014 at 10:11 AM

      Steve, it's part of what attracted us, no? The always having to learn something new? I am convinced that most journalists were lovers of school, because in a certain kind of way, the practice of journalism is like being in school all the time.

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  4. Vesuvius At HomeSeptember 10, 2014 at 9:43 AM

    Many wise people have said that an artist should feel they are in over their heads. That if you're not in over your head, the work is not going to be vital. Beyonce was one of them.

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    1. 37paddingtonSeptember 10, 2014 at 10:12 AM

      Vesuvius, thank you for that. The projects I have been most terrified by this year have turned out the best. Now that is something to hold on to.

      Delete
  5. Steph(anie)September 11, 2014 at 7:53 PM

    YES.

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