Today we will attend the funeral of my uncle, my father's only brother, Roy, who was 85, and who has buried two wives, both of them dying on February 1, as did his sister Elaine. Uncle Roy disliked the approach of February and decided to go before that dreaded date. In the single week after his diagnosis of metastatic cancer on Boxing Day and before he closed his eyes for good on New Years Eve, he had taken to joking, "So what's going to happen when I get to heaven and have two wives?" His daughter assured him they would both be waiting for him, as would his brother (my dad) and two sisters who have gone before. I like to think of them all together again, waiting for Jo, the oldest, cavorting in the forever.
At the service today and at the repast after it, I will see many family members whom I have not seen in years, some in decades. I am both looking forward to it and feeling some trepidation. To meet the people from one's past after many years of absence is very much like confronting your former self. Oh, I know it's not about me, but today I will be with people who knew me when, and will they know me still?
Fly with the angels, dear Uncle Roy. Say hi to Daddy for me. Tell him we miss him but we're taking care of his one true love, his inimitable Lady G.
Thinking of you today.
ReplyDeleteWoman! I read what you are going through, experiencing, and I am in awe. You don't even have to say it's not about you. It may not be but you are the only one whose vision is taking it in for you to experience. The only one whose heart is taking it in for you to feel. This is the way it has to be. We can reach out and encompass those around us but the alpha and the omega is how we ourselves fit within it. I wonder if I am making myself clear. I do not think so. But what I want to say is- don't apologize for feeling whatever you feel. You are saying good-bye to your daddy's brother. You are holding your mother. You are there for all of it. I think you are very brave and I love you.
ReplyDeleteThis moved me to tears. The brothers and sisters, and your daddy, in the forever. What a gorgeous and magical image. Sometimes I think that is one blessing of funerals, though I don't like funerals themselves--everybody comes together for them.
ReplyDeleteI like the picture of all of them cavorting in the hereafter. Hope all went well at the Funeral and everybody knew you.
ReplyDeleteI hope this time is filled with peace and togetherness with your family. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss Angella. It sounds you are experiencing such powerful emotions on this trip. Your writing has been exquisite and just beautiful in capturing this part of your journey. My best to you. Sweet Jo
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a fantastic opportunity, despite the solemn occasion, to see long-lost relatives. I hope it all goes well for you. It's amazing that Uncle Roy was diagnosed only a week before he died!
ReplyDeleteTerribly sorry for your loss. It does sound like he has quite the life, doesn't it? The last time I saw many of my family members was at a funeral. It does serve to build good memories and rekindle connections :o) Take care!
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