Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Parallel Universe

I alternate between cautious excitement at the impending arrival of our new editor in chief and being just exhausted at the prospect of having to study yet another boss, to learn her quirks and hot buttons, to remake story ideas within her vision, to prove myself worthy of staying on. I actually love my job—the wordsmithing and active curiosity and sense of rhythm and imagery that gets exercised in the editing of stories and the working with writers and designers to bring the whole realized vision to the page. But I have so little tolerance for what is unknown. I am so eager, always, to move past the preliminaries, to stop second guessing and standing apart to analyze, to get to the part where I can just dive right in and do my job the best way I know how. To know I am trusted. I have a good work ethic. I am not afraid of working hard or long. I thrill to the collaboration of people who are doing more than just going through the motions. I pray that this new editor is fueled by that, too. I have been assured that the woman who is coming is a grown up. She's a straight up fashionista, a Notable Person in her own right. She could be really great for the magazine. But I want to be done with all the finding that out already. At a twelve step program I attended in my youth, I heard a man who was looking for a job say that he prayed simply to be useful to someone. He was coming back from addiction and said it with such humility. It has stayed with me all these years. I think that is the best thing to pray for when it comes to work. Let me be useful to someone. Let me.


  1. Oh yes! Let me be useful! And in my work- I am. But of course, there is no pay or healthcare.
    But I know how very lucky I am to do the work I do. Grateful.
    And I hope that your new boss is a good one.

  2. Wishing you the very best. And there is no possible way that you could not be useful, my beautiful friend.


  3. best of luck....

    being useful is a powerful ethic. no wonder why that man's statement has stuck with you for all these years....i just hope and pray your new boss shares that ethic and will value the contributions and passion you bring....


  4. i'm rooting for you! you know your worth. now it's time for her to see it!

  5. Those 12-step rooms gave us words to live by. This reminds me of the Prayer of St. Francis...make me an instrument. It is as noble an intention as I can imagine. And it seems so reasonable to wish for the relative simplicity of just doing one's work without personalities or adjustments. The image I hold is for us to all be rowing in the same direction. May it go well.

  6. Ms. Moon, thank you, dear friend.

    Debra, hugs to you, too. Thank you.

    Mouse, thanks for getting it so thoroughly. love.

    Candice, i loved your email! So touched.

    Marylinn, make me an instrument of thy peace. I have always loved those verses. Thanks for reminding me.