Magical Thinking

My husband took that picture of me. He takes all the photos of me that I can stand. My daughter took one I didn't mind the other day, but it's my man who has the real gift of snapping a picture of me and not having me delete it on sight. I'm so vain and childishly insecure. You'd think I'd have matured beyond this by now.

I called my brother, the doctor, to ask him whether I should take some medicine my doctor has prescribed. I didn't want any side effects. I sounded like a whiny two year old. The side effects of not taking the medicine will be greater, he said, like he was talking to said two year old. I observed that Aunt Winnie started slip sliding downhill when she started taking medicines for this ailment and that. He said, No, she started taking pills because she was slip sliding downhill, not the other way around. And he said, You are 55 years old today. Think back to when we were 15. We thought people our age were old. Now that we're here, we don't feel old, and in fact we aren't old, but for most of us, medicine has entered the picture. Go ahead and swallow that pill. I know he loves me, so I meekly agreed.

My son called to wish me happy birthday first thing this morning! He was walking across campus to hand in the last paper of his junior year. He competes in hurdles, high jump and pole vault at States this weekend and has final exams next week and then he'll be a senior. We had a warm, meandering convo about summer jobs, and taxes and post-college plans. He very much wants to contribute to the financial support of this family, including his sister's college expenses, which I find to be such a beautiful intention. He's knows his dad and I are busy hoarding every penny for college tuition. But we're going to be fine. I believe that.